[Friday, March 28, 2003|07:07 p.m.]

[ they say a stone is a marker and it has weight ]
OK. i KNOW that i have said this like 5 times since we first saw the apartment. BUT. we did AKTUALLY sign the apartment lease today. i have an apartment. no job, but i walked almost the entire length of bank street (and only managed to hand out 6 resumes? way to go, ms. picky and choosy)...in PLATFORMS. kos rivi said flipflops were unprofessional. damn. then sarah and colleen got on a bus and realised that we didn't have any money. so we got off at the next bus stop. whoops.

did you get your place on dalHOOOOsie pam? have fun in nepean, child. try not to lose your soul!

my roomate has a new khristian cd. woopty doo da.

marg and navoda have gone to housesit for the weekend. i was going to go but i was too late koming back from dinner to go. i am getting frustrated. i need to leave res. i am so klose, yet so far from being 19. i don't even necessarily want to drink! just get out, celebrate, SOCIALIZE, meet people, have a good time. aparently only 19 year olds kan do that. not even 'will be 19 in less than 2 week' year olds are allowed to do that. its such a FINE line if you think about it. how different will i be in less than 2 weeks that makes me a better drinker? or decision maker or something....whatever their resaoning is behind the drinking age.

everyone around me has quit drinking (for ekonomik and various other reasons) and the result is a very dour group of people. i am jubilantly ready to have fun. but. the DOURNESS. man. it ruins my jubilation.

[bono vox: rose k. - rasputina]

[FRIMAR2803|01:03 a.m.]

[ all your suits are kustom made in london ]
ok. so this is my evening. we went bowling (oh dear. in honour of cher's birthday, i guess. woot bowling.) in like...nepean. which is a really kreepy place in my opinion. its near where i had to go to get amanda's syd barrett dvd. it was huge and warehouse-y. and empty. it was really heartless and desolete (they made fun of me for saying that. but nepean and especially this bowling alley just made me feel kreeped. hmph.) soon we were the only ones bowling along to some great obnoxious disko. dancing etc. and then...they turned the lights out on us? we hurriedly finished our game (we wanted to play another) and left. we'd been bowling for half an hour, 40 mins maybe? it had TAKEN us an HOUR to get there between the 2 buses and waiting outside without a jacket, kos we're drunk on the non-below-zero-ness of the weather (kompletely ignoring the fakt that it was still not quite hospitable out.)

there were these dying helium balloons attached to the seats and this guy was koming along and deflating them and taking them down. there were 2 left, so sarah got one for me and one for her. however, mine was horny and kept attaching itself to my krotch (my krotch is statik, yo). so sarah and i bowled with balloons tied to our wrists. ...and rode the bus home etc etc. i just deflated mine and the helium was defektive and didn't make my voice sound fun. BUMMER.

and then we nipped into tim's before getting on the bus to go home, where i had an ass-y tasting, rock hard, TURD of a donut (shit. their donuts HAVE gotten smaller) and a watery hot chokolate (that i won another ass-tasting, rock hard, TURD of a donut. hurrah) ummm...and then a bagel and kreamcheese (je suis une kochon). its like, my first hot chokolate in FOREVER and a DAY...annd...it smelled like my friends:) tasting it made me think of shit disturbing in amandas kar ...lol

all in all we were gone for 3 whole hours. we bowled for like, a fraktion of that. sheesh. oh well. i got a horny balloon and a "free donut" out of it. and my point is that nepean makes me feel gross inside (especially waiting 15 minutes for a bus in front of a klosed gas station. ack.). and i love balloons.

annnd...i'm listening to a tonne of madonna over here. we talked about her in musik today and watched the like a prayer video. and, i was hugely obsessed as a child. HUGELY.

[bono vox: lucky star - madonna]

[THURSMAR2703|06:49 p.m.]

[ if you kan see through these motives, ]
i just decided to treat myself to a biore nose strip (ahhh, lifes small luxuries...) and it kompletely backfired. it was defektive. no blackheads! i threw it away in disgust. maybe i didn't leave it on long enough... ok so. today HAS had high points. good stuff. we talked about kourtney love, and third wave feminism in musik klass. this is mmmmyyyyy fuccckkkkiiinnngggg department. (lol. professor, as hes writing on the board:"i kan never remember if 'riot grrl' has 2 r's or 3...") the 'indie matthew mccaughney (sp) sat right in front of me. kdn history was listenable for once, maybe even a smidge interesting. we did AKTUAL work in my journo ta group (i feel retarded just sitting there shooting the shit. it seems kounterproduktive. who knew that i would aktually prefer work...) and yet i am konflikted. it is a thursday so my natural reflex is to party bekause its basikally my weekend. i felt gypped last weekend, due to the lack of parties...or, not even parties that komplete misinterprets me...just some sort of celebration, and or fun having and of 'gathering together of'. you see, it was my first homework free weekend in three weeks. suddenly, everyone ELSE had work or no alkohol or no money to buy alkohol or a komplete lack of energy. perhaps its bekause i randomly went to bed after 4 am and i am only now feeling awake (as well, i am only showering and getting dressed after 4.5 SOLID hours of klasstime spent in kittie pyjama pants, a hoodie and general grottiness) that i am feeling restless and konflikted. my day WAS good(ish) or at the very least better than most thursdays (the dreaded 4.5 hour block of klasses, 2 in the same damn room...)...i am konflikted. and restless.

maybe i'll go treat myself to shaved legs. of kourse in the process, i will undoubtedly inadvertantly treat myself to numerous massively bloody wounds, but hey...everything komes with a price.

and my birthday is next, now that cher's is here (i kalled you, you kuntmonkey...way to be drunk already. alkie.) i have emailed my mother my list. shes perturbed by the lack of large obkekts. i want a stapler and a thesaurus. a new pair of eyelash kurlers. and as always, a tonne of cds and books that she will never be able to find. i even narrowed it to a handful of importants: the new kat power cd 'you are free' (i am in love with chan marshall. she broke my heart in the last nylon mag. its too bad gaz's beuatiful self was on the other side of the page of a GREAT pikture of ms. c. power...), interpol (turn on the bright lights), rasputina (partikularly 'how we quit the forest'), some bowie and some elliot smith. yep.

but what i *really* want is a lotto ticket and some sex toys. pwetty pwease?

hey is it possible to die of horniness? i believe it is. and i believe i am like, patient x or some such shite. they kan bury me next to the girl with the broken heart. i'll be 'the girl with the lonely vagina.'

oh and fairly randomly my father sent me a farily fantastik kard with piktures of me as a kid. i'm too lazy to go skan them on sarah's bf's skanner. so heres bad quality b&w webkam piks:
(2.5 years old. blonde bowl kut. yellow ducky pyjamas with feet. reading a book. not that any of you kan tell all this...)

(3 or 4 ish. summer and i'm sunburned, with kream on my face. wearing the damn water ducky that i used to wear ALL the time)

sigh. i kan't wait for prozak nation to kome out. wow. i should finally get a kopy of that book, eh? it used to be my bible before 'girl, interrupted.' i used to resent having to bring it back to the library...

edit:ok, and for reference...the piktures are so shocking bekause here i am an hour ago:

well. you kan't tell, but my hair is not white-fucking-blonde and...i'm pretty sure that those piktures are the last time i weighed less than a hundred pounds. lol.

[bono vox: kut your ribbon - sparta]

[THURSMAR2703|03:24 a.m.]

[ daddeez gurlz 4 life ]
happy 19th birthday cherakee stoddard.

happy 2 year break up at the drive in.
good timing, fellas.
lol.

oh LOOK...its the story of my life!

[bono vox: rattlesnakes - tori amos]

[TUESMAR2503|05:57 p.m.]

[ plotting revolution at the tea party ]
i'm thinking seriously of putting up a page of my photography, like stitchphoto...which relates to me somehow, but i forget. i guess this guy is the son of a guy my dad went to kollege with? and i met him as a child? not that i kan even rekall it or anything, but i digress. not that i even like my photographik work anymore, but i did enjoy having my best work displayed in a big solid wall on my kloset wall here at school. i'm all about exhibition, eh? i took it down bekause i'm getting antsy to move into my apartment. even tho theres a month left, i've started packing.

ok kids, heres a lesson in colleen's recent popular vokabulary:
-something that is 'obnoxious' is something that displeases me. konversely, it may also be something that amuses me, as i am often amused by the things that displease me.
-someone who is a 'tampon' is someone who is up my ass and lodged there. basikally, someone who is being incessantly irritating. a lesser form of 'tampon' is 'bumkrack'. 'tampon' is the next step up from 'bumkrack'. note: i do know that tampons are NOT supposed to go up your ass.
-when a situation is 'kosher', everything is all systems go. ex: "i just randomly decided to go give my piercing a kleaning even tho i don't have to anymore,just to make sure everything was still kosher down there." (true story)
-an 'assbandit' is someone who is kompletely wily in their 'obnoxious'ness, as if to take you by surprise, or er, from 'behind' or both at the same time.

...i think that konkludes that lekture. learn it, know it, use it, my komrades....

i have learned some interesting things at university this week. today in kanadian history, i learned that the so-kalled 'bra burners' never aktually burned their bras, they just threw em in the garbage. its media myth.

and yesterday in mass kommunikation we learned that the population of iceland is technikally a 'kommodity'. due to the homogeneous nature of their population (the population of ireland, newfoundland and parts of afrika are in the same boat, i guess. which makes me laff. newfoundland? ...bekause no one else wants to move there. lol. and yes indeed the genepool is small. heh.) the iclandik people share a very, ummm...'pure' genetik kode. you kan trace certain defekts back without diffikulty. anyway, this is valuable information for certain kompanies...like, drug kompanies or something. ANYWAY. iceland held a referendum sometime in the 90's (which is HYSTERIKAL. what would the question be like on that one? "should we sell our perfekt genetik kode: yes, no, or maybe.") and they voted to like, license their genetik kode to kompanies. its a profit sharing thing, and the gov't makes money. ...and before you kondemn them, take a moment to think about their literacy rate and klean environment and how much better their society is than ours. ok? ok.

on sunday, i went to a punk show at babylon (colleen and pam's faaaavorite venue! lol. no one hit on me in line, pam, but some guy did on my way out...but it wasn't major). i didn't want to watch the akademies, and universitysarah was going to her boyfriends favorite band ('strike anywhere') with him and his friend. she hates punk. i kame along. i didn't partikularly enjoy the musik, but it was truly fascinating to watch the 'expekted behavior'. that krazy fight dancing that they do in a cirkle? from a sociologikal perspektive, it was truly, truly interesting.

last nite i did html for the first time in almost a year. shit.

ok. i should go and unload the klean, but wet laundry that has been sitting in my laundry bag since yesterday. whoops?

[bono vox: rebecca - polly jean]

[MONMAR2403|06:21 p.m.]
"whats that there on my ground
its my heart
someone named jesus
broke it to pieces."

wow. is it EVER churchy in my room here tonite. i think i need to vakate. heeeaaadddppphhhhooonnnes.

[bono vox: save me - aimee mann]

[SUNMAR2303|01:02 a.m.]

[ you idiot kid, you don't have a klue ]
when all the boys kan't be men,
and the girls kan't be civil.

i don't want harlis_to be dead, but she just might be. we'll see. i really wouldn't know what to do, or where to go or who to kall for burial arrangements.

you know you're in trouble when

wow. obsessed with this song. and wendy is such a sweetheart, even when i'm lady lazarus.

this is kompletely wrong when my hardkore khristian roomate hooks up w/ boys over the phone and then 'heads out to hull' to 'dance'...and i'm sitting here in my underwear, sobering and alone and being lady lazarus. wow. holy loserish....and songs are way better sober bekause drugs don't work on me, and i'm naturally like this. good nite!

oh but exkuse me and p.s.: what the hell is this and the eighty eight cents makes me laff. the kutters kan't kough up? (i was merely trying to shout out elliot smith.)

[bono vox: nickel under the foot - pj harvey]

[FRIMAR2103|04:12 p.m.]

[ i wanted to know, so i asked ]
signing the apartment lease on monday. its ours. i need employment like you would not believe.

pamela, i want to see those piktures you took from montreal! pllleeeaaase?

i HAVE a graphik and maybe even a layout for harlis_. BUT. i kannot find an ftp thinger that i kan get to work. i've tried 3 different ones. what does everyone use? charmingsarah...help!?!?

i kut 3 inches off my hair in a fit of ugliness, in the middle of an all niter, wednesday nite. my hair is bigger now? wow. theres technikally LESS hair but it feels like theres more bekause i euthanized the old dead bits. volume, i guess. its like...to my boobs now. and, well, i forgot that my hair is wavy when its shorter. geeze.

rocky horror pikture show tonite. its a bit of a mind slip.

st. paddys was fun and alkohol soaked. as all good paddy's days should be. i broke my non-puking streak tho. oh well. if theres a day to break, its paddys day....

oddly, i have no komments about the war. none. i'll just freak out in my own quiet, private way and not burden you with any of it. unkharakteristik? yes. but there's too much hot air and propaganda as is. you don't need my extremely devalued two cents (even if i'm right. and of KOURSE i am)

and in konklusion i am in love with angie dickinson and dolly parton. oh, and debbie harry, as always.

[bono vox: sunday girl - blondie]

[MONMAR1703|01:21 a.m.]
"In a study to be published in the journal Biology of Reproduction, researchers collected samples from the underarms of men who refrained from using deodorant for four weeks. The extracts were then blended and applied to the upper lips of 18 women, aged 25 to 45."

niiiiiiice.

[bono vox: - ]

[SUNMAR1603|12:52 p.m.]

[ an art kunt page for pretentious elitist art kunts ]
ok, after going to the fine establishment known as pigales in the, er, lovely city of gatineau, quebec, i have konkluded that it does indeed take talent to be a stripper. it really does. i kan't do half that shit...and to think they do it all in retarded spike heels!

but it also got me thinking, over my ridikulously overpriced glasses of wine...what makes a stripper decide that "hey, maybe i should be a stripper?" bekause...in my mind it would be something like "hey my rack is pretty kute, i bet i kould make a few bucks..." BUT...some of these girls had LITTLE boobs. and THEN, on top of that, some of the big boobed girls' boobs were FAKE. so this means that she had to say to herself "wow. i bet if i changed myself, built myself a better body and wore a tonne of makeup...i kould be a stripper!" and is this a decision that the girls make themselves or "have people been telling them that all their lives"... the only konklusion i kould kome to is that...you just have to be relatively slim and kan swing by your titties from the pole. its that gymnastikal ability... and whomever kan think of the nastiest things to do to the pole (damn i hope they windex that thing at the end of the night)

i didn't get a lapdance bekause the "champagne rooms" kinda kreeped me out, but i DID go sit in "perverts row" (the seats right in front of the stage)...all my fellow 'perverts' were staring at me, it was kind of funnygross. i didn't do the thing where you lie on your back with money in your mouth and she takes it using boobs, bekause the stage looked pretty diseased. but i wanted to. maybe next time. this little asian guy was sitting next to me and gibbering like a chimp. i chose to ignore him. alas, when you're trying to avoid the eyes of all the "hi, i have a staring problem and a boner" pervs you have no choice but to look at...THE STRIPPERS!

they were allll retardedly skinny, so i now have body issues BUT, i did notice that i was prettier (uhhh..from the neck up, at least) than the majority of them (and lets faktor in the punds of makeup. ew) SO, as long as you keep your eyes direkted from my neck up, i am more fantastik looking than a stripper. right on. its the little things that make me happy...

'don't appreciate your anti-american attitude' fucking yahoo amerikans. lord.

theres some funny things happening over in my tag board. its rather amusing. but at the same time, mucho pathetiko, bekause you probably had to read my ennnntire archives bekause you're talking about random things from high school. which probably took a looong time, bekause this art kunt is fairly verbose, more than a little boring. .cheers, buddy. way to be a loser.

[bono vox: what does it feel like - felix da housecat]

[FRIMAR1403|02:15 p.m.]

[ save your money for the children ]
supergrass have put up their montreal tourdiary. i would like to direkt your attention to the following things:
-they thanked us for being an excitable audience. i KNEW we were abnormally loud
-this is sex.
-the stage. i stood in front of the rail, bottom right.
-gaz's duck

yep. i was there. i was on the snowy street too, that gaz and his duck were on. werp!

so i just talked to alex. her parents are buying her a plane ticket for her birthday to kome and see me in august, probably! holy fuck. that is so excitinggreat. but man. if i were her, i would've gone with the digital kamera, instead of MY sorry ass. but man. are we EVER going to have to have the best time ever.

AND i'm talking to cher right now. she DID get me a ticket to see pearl jam in june in montreal. i get to see her too! man, i want HER to kome see my apartment. moses. our konversation has inkluded the sentences "if you lose your sanity in may you have no hope for august." and "do you really think your fathers dead?"

tonite i am going to a stripklub. last nite i drunkenly wrote my autobiography at 2 am, for 2 hours, in the middle of my bedroom floor. my poor roommate. she just left minutes ago. she's gone all weekend. party in colleens room......

[bono vox: yay for prayers - roommates musik]

[WEDMAR1203|01:20 p.m.]

[ take your mind back ]
SUPERGRASS REVIEW (the only britpop band left standing) i think i saw this woman...she came to the front to get photos?

i have had 4 hours of sleep. my insides are shit bekause of lack of food and sleep and ABUNDANCE of kandy, gallons of highly sugared tea and vanilla koke. probably and the fakt that i slept on the floor of the studylounge too. BUT WORRY NOT, bekause there IS video footage of the event, should you kare to laugh at my expense. greg kame in with his videokamera ...and remind me never to get sarah to wake me up again, she is entirely too sympathetik- "oh sweetheart, you look so tired. i'm going to let you sleep til 12, ok?" lol. i went kompletely post it note PSYCHO. i kouldn't keep my thoughts straight due to the speedyness of my head (provided, so helpfully by the kaffeine. the bad thing about taking a lot of kaffeine to stay awake to write an essay, is that...then you have to somehow WRITE the essay in your hyper-excited state. annd thats a hard thing to do. your thoughts are like WHOOSH and your fingers jitter off the keys) and i wanted to keep myself on task so i wrote a dozen or so sticky notes and posted them up everywhere in the studylounge. some of them said "DO YOUR WORK!" others threatened "NO SLEEP TIL ITS DONE!" and...there are others but they don't make a hell of a lot of sense.

in a related note, the essay is NOT done. but there are 3 very great main body paragraphs, i might add. we'll see...i am beyond karing, honestly

off to the bibliotheque. say a prayer that i kan wrangle a book or two on my topik for my presentation tomorrow. which is kanadian politikal kartoons, by the way. yee haw.

[bono vox: rattlesnakes - tori amos]

[TUEMAR1303|11:33 p.m.]

[ i kan go all nite ]
dear everyone.
welkome to my first all niter. while i have been up late into the nite many, many, times here at university (and for many, many different reasons. some fun. the rest exkrutaintinly NOT.) this is the first time that i will attempt to write an entire essay starting now at 11:30 pm. this is the first time that i have decided not to allow myself sleep until it is finished.

i am on my sekond Fonzie Mug of tetley orange pekoe, loaded with sugar. i have a whole box to kill. i’ve had m&ms. i am now eating skittles. ( i think i have added another sub-theory to my ‘freshman 15' hypothesis: the ‘legal all niter stimulants’) i will konsume whatever it take to keep me awake. i kurse my decision not to drink koffee. i would fucking mainline speed at this point....

i have dug myself the biggest, deepest, widest hole known to man with this here. i must finish this essay tonite, you see, bekause tomorrow (wendesday) i must kommence work on my journo presentation...which is my thesis and research, a 10 min talk with visual aids (and an outline for the t.a.) of the essay that is due next week, OF WHICH i have no sweet klue what my essay will be on. it has to be something to do with photographs or kartoons in journalism. so i basikally have to decide on a topik, research it (good luck, with karletons sekond rate, shitty library), formulate a thesis (a personal weakness) kreate a kohesive presentation. this is for Thursday. i have a day. i will do this on no sleep and a dire lack of personal hygiene (which is just great. my journo group will not pay attention to a damn word i say during my presentation, bekause they will be too busy kounting the lice that krawl out of my hair...)

this is why this essay must be done before i sleep. i will have 8 kavities, 12 sugar sores and the worst shakes EVER kome morning.

Post skript: Woah. My face feels funny. Everything is jumpy. My hands are all trembly. Hellllllp mee. My eyes are all bugged eyed and wired. i’m wired. I think I’ve had like 12 physikal breakdowns. Ants in my pants.

P.p. s. the kettle just boiled and i got angry with it. I fucking resent it and the sound it makes. And then i got depressed. And then i realised “wow i am dumb” so i stopped.

P.p.p.s i kan’t eskape margaret and our pscycho-analytikal talks. twice she has found me in the study lounge and engaged me in fascinating intellektual konversation. werp!

[bono vox: - ]

[Monday, March 10, 2003|10:22 p.m.]


[bono vox: - ]

[SUNMAR903|01:28 p.m.]

[ roadtrip ]
dear gaz coombes et al [aka supergrass inkorporated]
thanks for ignoring the hott girl in the 'colleen' shirt RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU who, koincidently, knew all your lyriks. you played great. i kame a long way. i wished you a happy birthday. you were more stoned than a human should be, and i still smell like your sekond hand pot smoke. i'm not sure how you funktion so well, let alone play so fantastikally when propping your swollen eyeballs open seemed like too much of an effort. you looked good in your fancy trousers and black shirt, even if you sweated like a maniak right through it. but thats ok. you were working hard.

thanks for kissing that gigantik duck pinata, that was kinky. thanks for putting your arms around danny while exiting the stage, that was sweet. thanks for having the prettiest, rockingest guitars ever. thanks for playing 'late in the day' and 'mary' and other greats. oh and p.s. you should've played grace, as its the only song that my Companions (the ones i dragged from ottawa to see you) knew. but thats ok, bekause we made up for it by singing it allll over montreal, all day.

so, yeah. i saw supergrass last nite in montreal it was fab. i was 2 bloody metres away from the one, the only gaz coombes who is now on my shit list for failing to even LOOK at me...and for starting to lose his magnificent hair. i had read (fairly randomly, i might add) on rollingstone.kom's 'well hung at dawn' kolumn that 'gaz coombes is developing a bald patch at the back of his head' (and how it was odd bekause he supposedly represents youthful vitality and hairyness...i suppose he did at one point. yesterday was his 26th birthday.) but didn't believe it. well...sure enough. he turned around at one point and i gasped: he is indeed developing a bald spot at the back of his head. and his hair is thinning SO badly. i kouldn't put my finger on what was wrong with his hair, bekause by all rights its back to being what it used to be. but somethings..off. bekause its not all THERE anymore.

there was NO merchandise to purchase. sorry rodski. and i didn't have a kamera. which was stupid, bekause they failed to check my id let ALONE my bag. soooo...whoops.

it was a weirrrrd krowd. lots of old people. but if you think about it, supergrass is a fairly old band, even if its members are young. there were the oldies, a few pregnant women (?) some weird hyper indie/gothik people (ms. hyper indie had a nautikal theme on, down to her blue eyeliner and anchor tattoo, topped, oddly enough, by a white furry russian hat. she was the one with the cigarette who danced and terrorized my Companions with said dancing and cigarette waving. she apparently knew an alarming amount of the words. last nite was also weird, bekause i met other people who knew supergrass lyriks? you mean, i'm not the only one?) and then there were a bunch of kasuals, too kasual in fakt to even be labelled 'indie', save for the stray band t-shirt here or there. there was a STONE FOX wearing an ok komputer shirt, that i fokused my staring problem upon when there weren't bands on the stage.

the koral opened, which is kompletely bizarre for a variety of reasons, but still very pleasant. first of all, i wasn't sure if there was an opening band at all. i knew that the koral had been opening for them a while back. but i figure the koral had enough of a profile to uhh...mention it on the website/posters/tickets/ANYWHERE? guess not. the koral played their rollicking, 'barnum and bailey sea shanties' to a VERY impressed krowd (inkluding my 3 Companions, whom, i believe are now big koral fans. they liked them better than supergrass) they were SO kohesive. tight and machine gun smart, and fairly good entertainers as each musician klearly enjoyed playing their own musik. (especially the bassist. who looked and akted like he'd taken a wrong turn and lost his metal band along the way) FAKTOR IN THAT THEY'RE ALL *MY* AGE...18-21...shite. ANYWAY. they were great. rivi said she kaught the lead singer trying to fathom what my shirt meant. later on, he walked past me while i was waiting for my Companions to return from the koat check and i wasn't sure if it was him bekause he was wearing a hat (but it was him bekause someone said they saw him wandering around in a hat, later) but, he was STILL puzzling over my shirt. i kould see it in his face. see, the KORAL kept looking over in my direktion when they were playing (fuck you, gaz). ANYWAY, the sekond weird thing is that...we walked past the koral earlier in the day in the bus station without even knowing it. i wasn't paying attention and we walked past a group of guys, who i only glanced at. as we walk psat them, sarah goes "oh colleen...theres a group of guys YOU'D like." i look back and nod appreciatively. THEN, when the koral take the stage sarah goes "colleen, those are the boys from the bus station!" diskussion ensues between my Companions and they agree that YES, that was indeed the koral that we passed. and THEN my kompanions promptly fell in love. and rightfully so.

we got to the bus station at 11-ish, as the koncert ended at 10:30. it was snowing when we left the klub to walk back to the bus station. i paused briefly to read tht window of a strip klun (their 'erotik beds' konfused me...) and as i was walking a way a woman was all "i think thats for men...", which put my back up, bekause, HELLO, i kould be gay, you know. ANYWAY. then we sat in the montreal bus station, satisfied and tired, a bit hungry. we got on the bus after the "first/last boarding kall" (lol)...we were among only the handful on the bus so we got seats to ourselves and after taking some dorky piktures, we kind of fell asleep. unfortunately, the roads were really bad and our bus was going at a snails pace. it took us an extra hour to get home. THEN when we got back to the ottawa greyhound station (which is pretty damn depressing at 3 am. jayzus. faktor in the 'tracy chapman' that they were playing and the fakt that taxis were failing to kome to the bus station to pick the people there up and you have a pretty deflated roadtrip party.) this hott australian guy (karting around an appliance and wanting us to smoke with him) was skulking around to my enjoyment. we finally got a kab outside and got home around 3:30. this translates in me going to bed at 8 am and waking up at noon...but whatever. i have kompleted skrewed myself over. shrug.

we got to montreal at 3 pm. we went direktly to the 'metro' (aka the subway.) and went to the le chateau outlet. we spent some time there. i took a tonne of stupid piktures in the metro. bekause thats what i do. take stupid piktures. umm...bought an obnoxious shirt along with sarah 'to wear on our balkony'. lol. then we ate, got on the subway annnnd...went back to the bus station (which is where we saw the koral) and then found our way to the venue. the end.

i love how it says way at the bottom 'dave grohl will not be playing with queens of the stone age'. i like how they have to say that to avoid disappointment for many. dave grohl is an insitution nowadays. EVEN if that grammys-klash thing was more than a little dodgy....my point is that there appears to be tickets left for this show. i'm working on rounding up a posse to go.

oh yeah, and i won third place in a photography kontest on kampus this week. for a b&w pikture of the powerlines near my house in skarborough. i won like...film and a photoalbum (things i will use...). when i went to pick them up tho...the woman in charge of this whole kompetition insisted on meeting me. i said hello and shook her hand (and it was strange bekause she seemed to prekognitively know that i was 'colleen - third prize b&w, the powerline pikture', i don't rekall telling her) we shot the shit briefly. the funny part is throughout the entire konversation, she kept going back to my pickture and trying to say something nice about it. it was just...klassik. she and her assistant (who tried to helpfully chime in with "i kan tell you were going for komposition!") looked at each other and stuttered and stammered and all that konfidence-inspiring shite. she kept saying "it's...it's...it's verrrrry....*pause*interesting..." she finally settled on "it's, well, different is what it is." sarah and i just suppressed our laffter until we got to the stairwell. it was funny bekause it was one of my normal-er photos. afterwards i said to sarah "thats the story of my life, right there. 'interesting and different, but not altogether good'"

shop for me here bekause...what would joan jett really do?

[bono vox: dreaming of you - the koral]

[TUESMAR403|08:05 p.m.]

[ i'm not unkomfortable with feeling weird ]
everytime i log into my karleton email...thing it says "you have no personal announcements" and i mistake it for "you have no personal problems" and i'm like: wanna bet?

i am wearing toilet paper on my head. i kan't bring myself to take it off.

expekt me later. like, 8 million times later. i am "working" and anything, just...anything that triapses akross my mind will seem 8 thousand times more postworthy than it aktually is. and i will be so willing to stop working to post it. lucky you. altho...my friends really don't BOTHER with me anymore. except alex, who is going to make the valiant-est effort EVER to visit me in ottawa this summer. what a woman. (woah. mr. penny, much?)

[bono vox: wonderwall - kat power]

[TUESMAR403|01:26 a.m.]

[ ni una mas ]
doing my essay on juarez killings/maquiladora workers.

did you know that the president has an email address? its president@whitehouse.gov. i wonder if he ever checks it. i wonder if the douchebag even knows how.

ok, the real point of this: i have the most fantastik aptartment. ever. we still have to sign stuff. but. we take possession may 1. i will be living in ottawa this summer. fuck. now i need a job. the three most gorgoeus kids live there right now. holy, man. anyway, its on the 15th floor. its damn klose to school. right akross the street from a harveys. like, almost akross the street from a MALL. you kan see a floorplan by going here and klicking 'riverbank apartments'. its the 2 bedroom floor plan....this means that sarah and i will be sharing a room, and rivi gets her own. theres a balkony that i am dying to sit on in my fucking SKIVVIES all summer long and fucking DRINK until my damn liver pickles. you're all invited.

i had the strangest konversation with richard tonite. he kalled me after i saw him earlier in the kaf/elavator when i was the gigantik-est dick EVER (bekause i felt like it) i sent him an icq message, but he says that his komputer is down but i have no idea why else he would kall me. he was being really very...whimsikal. it made me laff. it was one of the stranger konversations i've had, which is not a bad thing. i have never heard him...or well...any semi-adult say the words (SAYYYY the words. as in, spoken.) 'hee hee'. especially not richard who is just too fucking laaaaaid back for words at every hour of the day. you know, i kan't even say why it was so weird. it was just weird. i tried to illuminate this earlier to sarah. but i kouldn't. and then she had to go bekause she had fight #8 million and FIVE with the new boyfriend. good lord. and now its 8 years later and she has not kalled me? i guess i'm not going over there then? UH OH:i had better klean off my bed. i have naught a place to lay my weary bones.

[bono vox: mistakes and regrets - trail of dead]

[SATMAR103|02:02 a.m.]

[ my mama said to get things done ]
the world needs to see this bit of genious. bekause, look: we know its britney spears bekause she is wearing pink and holding a pepsi. oh, the unsung geniuses of this world. explodingdog is indeed among them.

rivi has been bellyaching all evening. and i heard that she just exploded in the kommunal bathrooms. she managed to puke everywhere. we're blaming the mcdonalds.

today we got all professional looking (ie: i took off my fishnets finally and put on some PANTS) and went to go view a house we might rent. the landlords konfessed that they hadn't been there in awhile and that 3 men lived there. boy. did they ever:
the place reeked of weed. in fakt, the master bedroom had the whole joint rolling setup in full view. and as we were upstairs you kould hear them frantikally spraying room freshner stuff. the three of us giggled the whole time we were there. its a dump and an absolute sin for what they would be charging us.

i kalled my mum tonite. she only had 20 mins to talk, which was a shame bekause we haven't spoken in 2 weeks. my father aktually kalled yesterday to tell me that i should kall her and ask her how she is, bekause shes a bit unhappy. snort. a bit? i know that my mother has a very sad and unhappy life. i told her so on the phone tonite that this is not new. she konceded that i am right. i'm not sure what we achieved with this.

lester (my laptop) has been on for about 3 or 4 days straight. perhaps i should turn the poor bugger off. BUT its 2 am and i'm not ready for bed damnit. everyone i know is asleep. honestly, if i know you and you're awake? telephone me. right now. i am feeling verbose. fucking kall me on the phone. x:5870. PICK IT UP AND DIAL IT. man. entertain me. like. even msn and icq are dead. richard, anne and pamela are online. so what that really means is that anne has left her komputer on while she sleeps. its possible richard is awake, bekause he seems to keep hours as odd as i do. and i think i have bothered pamela enough for one day.

supergrass on the wedge tonite. everyone seems to be getting portly and sweaty. not a good thing. i will still sleep with them all kome next saturday.

oh, and p.s: the words 'psycho bitch' keep bouncing around my head. everything and everyone is a 'psycho bitch' to me lately. it seems very appropriate and ...insightful. telling. i'm sure someone has, or someone will use those words to deskribe me. (wait. i think i kan think of one person right now. he lives in my building.) i think that it will be unfortunate. and i think that i will have no choice but to kackle loudly, only fuelling their suspicions....

[bono vox: ashes to ashes - david bowie]

[FRIFEB2803|02:06 p.m.]

[ please don't help me with this ]
ok. so last nite i ended up in the 'oasis' (the restaurant downstairs in res...) at midnite wearing fishnets, a kilt and a pink feather boa, tanked out of my tree and rambling on and on to richard and akkusing him of various bits of internet mischief. i'm not sure how it kame about. i think i walked into sarah's room and found her drunk and on the phone with him, and wrestled it away from her...at which point he said he'd meet me downstairs? yeah.

i showed sarah my piercing last nite? i guess we went pee in the bathroom together. i hate that. thats like...what i am konsistantly ashamed of the morning after. its like...the lowest level for me. amanda always wants me to go pee with her when we're drinking. sarah too. fucking aquarius' and their goddamn fixation with bodily funktions. but i digress. so. i peed (and i think we took a pikture? i brought a kamera with us into the bathroom. good thinking, colleen) and then as i was hauling up my fishnets (and MULTIPLE pairs of underwear. yep. to hold the fishnets in place, i guess..) i stopped and went: "oh sarah, here's my piercing." and when we got back to the "party" (which blew bekause everyone failed to drink and socialize and play kards. so. they left and we were all bummed.) i made her announce it to everyone, bekause now there was proof that i had my krotch pierced and they don't have to 'just take my word for it anymore.' i know this bekause greg videotaped a bit of last nite and you kan see me prodding her to announce it. the video is boring. except for the bit where i loll on the floor and then stand up to show everyone the cherries on my 2nd pair of underwear, and announce that 'it's metaphorikal. NOT literal.' thats when the video is boring and EMBARASSING.

i wandered the tunnels a bit...inadvisable, but i still went ahead. i wandered til i found a mirror and took one look of myself in my get up and decided to get out of the tunnel before i get into trouble. then i watched tv with nandita, which was oddly enjoyable bekause i was still hammered. then i went to sarahs room and she and margaret just kame back from looking for ME in the tunnels, and informed me that we were going skating on the rideau kanal. but without skates. this is 2 am. i found some pants and put them on over my fishnets and away we went. we kame back at 3 am. i made myself hot chokolate and diskovered the still full flask of alkohol in my purse and drank it. margaret and sarah laid down while i paraded around sarahs room in my cherry underwear and fishets and a hot pink skarf and sunglasses to disko and pink floyd (jake's mixtape!). this went on awhile, until i fell asleep at the OTHER end of the bed, using my full bag of klean laundry (that is still in sarahs room) as a pillow. margaret says it was a new experience for her to wake up to fishnetted feet in her face.

and this morning i had the spins something fierce. woo, mother.

oh my god. margarets is the smartest, sharpest, swiftest. look what she just wrote to me over msn after i kracked some remark: "i can pitcure you typing that..the way you probably raised your eyebrows, grinned out of the side of your mouth, and dipped your chin into your neck....am i right?" lol. we konfessed to each other this morning how much we love making fun of people, and how we see it as a sign of affektion and how no one makes fun of US nearly enough (probably afraid to bekause we always make fun of people, and are therefore 'bullies')

[bono vox: one time too many - pj harvey]

[THURSFEB2703|05:40 p.m.]
dear random guy;
i have your ip address.
AND the ip address of your home komputer.
your ass is mine.
have a nice day.

[bono vox: - ]

[THURSFEB2703|03:29 p.m.]
nooooooooooooooo! i'm sure that he changed into his 'cardigan and comfortable foot wear' before he died and is like, sitting up in heaven reading storybooks aloud with mr. dressup.

[bono vox: emergency 72 - turin brakes]

[TUESFEB2503|11:23 p.m.]

[ run to the shadows ]
david bowie + tori amos + belle and sebastian = one bad ass sandwhich, especially served with a side of live nick cave. i'll never study if this keeps up. soulseek is pretty rightous. thanks pamela.

i'm fucking exhausted and windburnt. so. the koncert was rad. pamela and i had a grand old time. we journeyed to kanata and back. i was passive agressive with the irritating girl in front of me. i kicked the fuck out of her chair and then pretended like it wasn't me. then she danced like j.lo at a high school dance during...fucking 'in my place', the enkore. hello, loser. anyway. yeah. it was great. i wish they played for longer than an hour and a half. they kould've. and really...chris martin is just the sweetest special-ed kid EVER. he's like billy elliot, i swear. he galavants and kareens around the stage. i bust out kackling (and j.lo gave me some dirty looks bekause of it) during 'yellow' bekause he was pulling shades of the backstreet boys...or at best, BONO...he was all about the gymnastiks and inspirational poses, etc. gwyneth paltrow is just going to break his heart. and the uhh....bass player kasts a great shadow. great rock stature. or is that posture? well, he didn't move all nite. but i liked his stance. i'd take him to bed, thats for sure. that hair? oooo lawdy.

oh yeah and i'm windburnt bekause an exkursion to the liquor store turned into a 4 hour trek, involving 7 of us. i have frostbite in my toes (probably. i felt the need to go in my shower shoes again. and a skirt. and my thong. and a TURTLENECK. why? i'm not sure.), a gigantik bottle of merlot, and a new favorite tee shirt from value village. i suppose i have akkomplished a lot. except for studying. whoops.

[bono vox: ashes to ashes - david bowie]

[MONFEB2403|04:25 p.m.]

[ at the top of my lungs ]
woah. heavy. -> they had to go into the alligator to get the arm back!

koldplay koncert, tonite. it was weird to watch them on the grammys last nite. they're going to be tired. especially since khris martin plays the goddamn piano like andrew skott plays the drums....someones going to get hurt.

oh and i was not down with that klash thing on the grammys at all. i thought that elvis kostelllo was appropriate...but oddly, springsteen sounded the best. i respekt dave grohl, but i didn't like his kontribution. i saw him and taylor accept their award. kudos to taylor for wearing dressing like he's still in orange kounty...and for generally being an ace drummer and hot motherfucker.

[bono vox: mistakes and regrets - ...trail of dead]

[SUNFEB2303|04:01 p.m.]

[ tyson likes doing other things ]
"I like doing other things," Tyson said in a rambling post-fight press conference. "I like getting high, hanging out with my kids, I like drinking. I like doing other things."

last nite rivi and i watched 'the ring'. we were so devastated by this movie it was almost comical. its pretty horrifying. i slept in her room, after watching igby goes down at 1 am to feel better.

[bono vox: - ]

[SATFEB2203|07:11 p.m.]

[ start as you mean to go on ]
i am quitting mr. noodles, kold turkey. rivi and i were just at the grocery store and diskovered that mr. noodles are mega fucking bad news. they have like, 400+ kalories and and 20g of fat. rivi says thats like eating a big mac. whoops. and i was eating these motherfuckers like snacks! oh god. its no wonder i've grown a double chin this week. well, i'm not sure if i GREW it this week, or just noticed it this week, but...i kan tell you that i did NOT used to have one. so now instead i am eating a lot of fruit to go. its like...methadone until i get over the mr. noodles thing.

rivi showed up at my (sarah's) door today. a komplete surprise for me, at klose to 3 when i was just starting to klean up the room. she had a pretty good week (i think the only one of us?). she was pretty aghast at the state of sarah's room. she asked me how my week was. i did not know what to say. here i am all broken out like i've been sitting around sarahs room shooting heroin all week or something. fuck. i look like a junkie. well. a junkie who eats a lot of mr. noodle.

pamela needs to kall me! or check her email!

i read in the newspaper yesterday that 69% of kanadians support the legalization of marijuana or something. sixty nine. i'm sure theres a link there....i think thats an indikation of what dirty, sexy individuals we are. kanadians are kinky. ...and fucking stoned, too, i guess.

rivi and i karried on a very personal, highly detailed konversation that kontained the phrases
"yeah, but its not penetration if its fingers"
"yeah, but rivi...it wasn't fingers" at like, top level, on the O-TRAIN. then we also diskussed my parents' non-divorce, non-marriage...again, at top level. on the o-train.

it has just okkured to me what a ridikulous name 'mr. noodles'is. where is mrs. noodles? or is mr. noodles the swinging bachelor type?

o and i fucking loved the usual suspekts, by the way. i figured it out before the end. i was so proud of myself.

[bono vox: - koldplay]

[FRIFEB2103|11:16 p.m.]

[ fuck your father in the shower and then have a snack ]
ok, kan i ask a question? do people realllly shoot guns like, to the side like in the movies? are there really any benefits to this? bekause i kan't see any need for it, really.

i just ate mr. noodles. je suis une cochon. but yet i want more?

kevin spacey...bothers me. what a kreepy kid. does he have to be one of those sad-sack-khronik-masterbators in every film? and another question. which baldwin is this? its one of the uhh, younger ones. yet. it seems to be somewhat of a respektable role. something doesn't fit here. lol.

[bono vox: the usual suspekts - ]

[FRIFEB2103|07:00 p.m.]

[ heavy morals feel so lite ]
so i'm in my room. i've moved lester back to print stuff off and don't feel like moving it back, yet feel like having icq on.. so here it is. last nite, not long after i finished typing, i was perched on sarahs bed in my underwear when That Bastard Sound, ie: the glengarry fire alarm, started going off. i chuckled as i got dressed and left the building. i'm sure that not everyone left the building (if i hadn't been awake, i'm not sure i would. it was after 4 am!), but still it was really weird to see only 40 or so people straggle out of glen and mill about. i went and sat in front of the heater in renfrew house for 20 mins. then kame back. i fell asleep around 5, i guess. and for some reason...managed to wake up at 12? i have been KOMPLETELY unable to get my arse out of bed before 1, 1:30 all week, and haven't been to bed at 5 am any other time.

um. i managed to eat twice at the kaf today. i think people have started to kome back. res is busier. i did all the rest of my resumes and sent them off. then i went to the mall. now i'm back and fucking exhausted. its only 7. i am so boring.

ok so the red hot chili peppers (w/ queens of the stone age AND mars volta. yikes.) are koming to ottawa may 17! tickets go on sale tomorrow and i am just busting. i don't know if i'm going to be here! i need a job and an apartment first. damn.

ok. so my roommate has been listening to this khristian komedian on the radio since i've been in the room. which is weird bekause. shes just laying on her bed listening, not laffing. i mean. its not funny...but....surely she kan appreciate it more than i? so, anyway. she is listening to this krap...and then just now, she got up took her keys and left. ...leaving the radio on? WHY? why would she do this!!?!? in kase i was listening to it or something? good fucking lord. maybe shes trying to konvert me. but really. hmmmm. maybe i want to listen to my own musik? does she think i enjoy this? this is so puzzling.

oh and pamela. the britpop place wasn't even sure waht vegan meant on the phone. it doesn't look good.

[bono vox: kdgjkaljglkanhjk - fogjkdaj'ghsjhnjs;hk]

[FRIFEB2103|03:06 a.m.]

[ tied the noose; you kame along and you kut me loose ]
i am gobsmacked. i have just watched 3 movies in succession. damn, what was the first one? and it was just like a marathon of...drrrama. holy shit. i feel like i should go to therapy right now. it was just way too heartwrenching. and i don't even have a fucking heart to wrench! chasing amy was the first one, which was pretty alright, despite the prescence of both ben affleck and that squeaky girl. it wasn't so much heartwrenching, as it was thought provoking. then i watched the good girl which was just...hideously overwrought. and then i watched monster's ball and lost my shit kompletely, as they say. good khrist. ...and when people ask me what i did over reading week, i will be forced to tell them that i sat in sarah's room and kried. no i didn't get any schoolwork done but i emptied my damn tear dukts. (is this menopause?!?)

oh wait. and also. i accidentally kommitted fraud. but thats a looong story. i hope my dad talked to the bank and they don't feel like freezng my akkounts. that might suck a tad.

some random guy, eh? nice. well. this is how its done on 4th...

it is very komforting to see some bell biv devoe on a playlist. especially amongst all that indie art wank. good on you, seburn. you're hired.

i applied for 8,000 jobs today. really random ones that i felt perhaps i might be qualified for. a lot of telephone sales and interviewing, bekause hey...i'm all about being a pest on the phone. i applied for that 'haunted walk' thing (they said they need people with past drama experience and a flair for the dramatik. well, hell i said...i'm like judy fucking garland most days) and i even applied for this positon with mike's hard lemonade. i stock shelves, promote it and give out samples? that might be a problem. 'ms. hennan, kould you please refrain from sampling the samples?'

i go see koldplay on monday. woot. i don't think i'm going to montreal this sat, eh? fuck. i have to do an assload of laundry and kompletly de-kontaminate sarah's room (yep. i will have to dismantle the bunker and go home. which is akroos the hall, but like a world away.) maybe buy her a birthday present? start my homework? ha. fuck i'm prediktable.

ok. i've had enough. i'm taking off my pants. i'm freezing kold, yet...klothes kan kiss my ass. i really don't need them. goodnite.

oh and p.s: i was wearing makeup at the time. thats probably the only reason i kried. bekause instead of showering today (ew) i decided to play with sarahs makeup (flawed logik, i know.) and, well......we know how god likes to play with me. so don't worry amanda; i don't have emotions after all and i'll go back to being a robot annny time now.

[bono vox: politik - koldplay]

[WEDFEB1903|07:49 p.m.]

why am i listening to pinkerton. this is probably inadvisable. oh, rivers and his perverted lovesickness. i wanna change my msn name to "smell you on my hand for days" and uhhh....see what happens.

ok. off to eat some more mr. noodles.

[bono vox: pinkerton - weezer]

[WEDFEB1903|05:11 p.m.]

[ K—for Kierkegaard ]
"I wasn't sure how other people would react to an old unemployed guitarist." ok graham....why don't you just go ahead and break my heart, or something. why are you being so vulnerable and frail these days? note to self: never stop drinking

oh. and i'd like to note that i am rather dismayed to find that 2 of my 3 post-sekondary-attending best friends are indeed on their reading week right now. and faktor in that jake is kompletely unempolyed right now and you kome to the rather unsettling konklusion that 'well drat. i should've gone home.' which is unsettling bekause...wow. i should be in bridgewater?

so instead i will just keep telling myself "drat. i should've gone to skandinavia"

[bono vox: silence and the vent - ]

[WEDFEB1903|03:14 p.m.]

[ you give me that funny feeling in my tummy ]
wow. is andrew from pitas, diaryland and the ilk...is his last name really 'swappington'? and is he really like "andrew the 4th"? wow. that is so...konvenient. swappington. ...and...we swap stuff. but also, i think i love this boy. his last name is swappington (and he's the 4th one of them...) and he's like... the william randolf hurst of the web! yeah. i think i might have to love him.

but. dilemna. i watched two movies last nite/the wee hours of this morning. i also love john kusack and ferris bueller. this is the dilemna i fell asleep to. i think i might have to love john kusack more, mostly bekause he is a real person. and also. he doesn't schizo-ly change his outfit every 3 minutes like bueller. oh, bueller.

woo. someone needs to swap my shite so i kan swap someone elses! too bad that all my swappable shite is at home. i've found sooo many books that i want! ok. i should... leave res or something. i haven't since saturday. ew.

[bono vox: love rollerkoaster - rhcp]

[MONFEB1703|11:13 p.m.]

i've decided: i'm trapped in home alone. but without the nice digs, and kool toys. ok, and the bumbling burglars (well. as far as i know.) oh, and its not xmas, either (damn. i wish it were xmas.) but yeah. this is where i'm at. laying on sarah's bed. in her eeyore robe. lol. she aktually gave me her keys and i've been living in her room since friday, in kase i failed to mention. annnnd. i'm also, surprisingly enough, having trouble being alone. for once in my goddamned life. i'm...going to pin it on the lack of familiar surroundings, ok? its not me, its the place. and i'm desperate for kommunikation in kase you kan't tell by my multiple posts. someone? anyone?

[bono vox: silver skreen - felix da housekat w/ miss kittin]

[MONFEB1703|10:07 p.m.]

[ what to show & what to konceal ]
just watched joe millionaire. sarah looked like she was going to klaw evans eyes out when he told her. did you see her witchmaskface frozen in that smile? i was like "the klaws evan, kover your eyes!" oh yes. i thought for a moment that perhaps he was going to pick them both and then see who shows up. but no. it made me all so happy...and yet so sad. i was all like 'fucking fairytales' and then retired to my room to eat kookies. like the poised and polished person that i am, obviously.

briefly, i had the notion today that someone really should love me, bekause i'm fantastik. but. then she was gone, alas. like a whisper on the wind, really. lol.

alex sent me this today. i am angered and jeolous that there are other 'leens' in the world. ...and while i' m linking in such a wanton fashion, i komplete respekt and support suicidegirls for revolutionizing adult entertainment. read their purpose, and buy me a baseball tee while yer at it.

oh yeah. and i'd like to note that mr. noodles makes me entirely too happy. i should learn to derive my happiness from somewhere other than packaged noodles of questionable origin. and kasual sex. ....but mostly mr. noodles...

[bono vox: mistakes and regrets - trail of dead]

[MONFEB1703|06:03 p.m.]

[ paradise by the dashboard lite ]
so yesterday, i poured boiling water on my hand. go team-fucking-colleen, eh? i'm a tit, a tool and a retard. wow. what a scholar. the majority of the damage seems to be in that precious place between my pinkie and ring finger. i spent the remainder of the nite with my hand in an ice kold, klogged, diseased sink or with my hand wrapped in a tea towel. the pain was still exkrutiating at 1 am, when i had had enough of the shirley temple biography and said good nite to the stoners (who's minds, by the way, were 'totally blown away' by the a&e programming of which we were partaking. heehee. its all my fault; i gave them the weed that nearly killed me. lol) and tried to go to bed. well. this did not work. i ended up filling up a kup with kold water, and then dangling my hand into it from my bed to the floor. this did not work, bekause it spilled as soon as i dozed off into sleep. i filled it up another kouple of times, as it kept getting warm on me. and. well. i have no idea how i finally fell asleep. it was sometume AFTER i had the kup in bed with me, where it spilled when i had finally found enough relief from the pain to doze off. gee, did i ever wake up fast. i think i ended up throwing some towels in bed with me and thats all i rememmber. today, its this weird numb but at the same time painful feeling. greeaaaat.

jake's package arrived today. it was to be the hilite of my week. i got it and just stared at it awhile. his writing! le sob. eventually i opened it and burst into tears. thats the sekond time in two days. khrist, i'm 2 for 2. blimey, i think i've used my yearly allotment of saline in two fell swoops. gorey! at any rate, its fantastik. i'm listening to his mixtape, which is glamtasmagorik. i'm freaking out over here in my underwear to it. i'm having a bit of trouble adjusting to being alone, but honestly? i'm still all about being nude as much as possible. i'm lounging around like the lush that we all know i am.

he sent a tonne of piktures from jr. high...which, i mean, would make anyone kry. i'm not in any of them (i don't believe that piktures exist of me from that period. thankfully.)...but. god. and of kourse he provided pants peeing kaptions! (jake. i kan't even look at the one of roxanne. really. nightmarish.) aktually....you kan glimpse me in a few...in my telltale, infamous grape seasonal. he also thoughtfully sent me a full subklub akrd. thanks, buddy.

but this tape. lord. jake didn't bother getting a new tape i don't think (unless he got it at like, the bridgewater flea market. fuck.) so its from like...1989. i need a pikture. it just...makes me feel like wearing jordache, or something. its got these random pastel stripes. the musik itself is a mixture of glam, funk, psychedelika, showtunes, quasi-disko and boombastik techno. as you kan tell, jake macdonald is one badass muthafucka, who just kan't help himself.

i bought the kats meow and watched it last nite. i was disappointed. kirsten dunst and eddie izzard were FANTASTIK (which seems to be the word of the day) but.......it seemed, not so plot-tastik (ok. i'm stopping.) i should uh, sign up for that swappingtons thing and get rid of it. this whole swapping thing DOES intrigue me...but being at university and only physikally possessing 0.03% of my possessions (and sadly......this is still a truckload. we're talking about an iceberg-esque situation. yep. i said iceberg-esque.) i don't see it going far. now, if i were HOME, however. i have tonnes o' krap.

i may be going to lindsay, to universitysarahs house. she has had enough of being bored without me, it appears. and well...knowing exaktly how much work i'm getting done here, she suggested she drive up and get me. she'd also be getting her boyfriend and we'd be a sandwhich again. yay!

ok. this is a very offensive site and i do not kondone it. i am not laffing at the fat people, nor do i approve of this guys hatelanguage. but his ignorence is damn funny. it inspires him to be a...hatewordsmith of sorts. like. only dedikated bigotry kould produce such gems as 'spacekunt'

talked to both sarahs today online at once. three guesses as to what we were talking about. werp. oh and happy birthday on saturday amanda. hope it were greeeat.

ok. this just kinda petered out. i have figured out how to FINALLY work my burner. perhaps i'll go do taht like a maniak. joe millionaire in 45 mins or universitysarah will kill me.

[bono vox: the timewarp - rhps]

[SATFEB1503|02:44 p.m.]

[ koolaid, mr. noodles, and a playlist ]
voices karry - til tuesday
stella was a diver and she was always down - interpol
i've got your pikture - patsy kline
jesus, etc. - wilko
dynamite walls - hayden
amerikan pie/smells like teen spirit live - tori amos
never tear us apart - INXS
i watched you taking off - bright eyes
nautikal disaster - tragikally hip
perfekt day - lou reed
kosmik dancer - t rex
nyc - interpol
diamond sea - sonik youth
one - u2

so. what do you do with a day that is determined to kill you? with koldness. when all you want to do is get out, have a good day, a little warmth. ok a lot of warmth. and a komplete lack of walls. i look nice today.

morrissey and bowie doing kosmik dancer? yikes. how phenomenal. why do the fans have to skream so loud on the bootleg tho? its not the band i hate, its the fans...

[bono vox: check the list - ]

[SATFEB1503|01:30 a.m.]

dear everyone.
alright. i'm having one of tose 'everyone must know this' moments. the severity is pretty......severe. it like, weighs hard and stuff. it feels exaktly like when i'm laffing hard with my friends like i'm going to bust. so here is my going-to-bust announcement. take it to heart. learn it. wear it. know it. i know i will feel like this again:
cherakee is my bloody valentine.

we have a date in prague. i'll meet you there.

[bono vox: never tear us apart - INXS]

[THURSFEB1303|07:47 p.m.]

[ leave on your makeup and i'll leave on the lites ]
oh my god i think my body has atrophied. i have been retardedly useless all week, various illnesses and a hint of natural lazyness to blame. i have skipped FOUR klasses. important ones, at that. universitysarah and i are degenerating. we have sworn to go to more klasses after the break. she leaves tomorrow at noon to go home for the week. khrist, i'm gonna miss her. she is one of the best people i've ever met...and i am referring, in like, a qualitative manner (woo. look what fucking akademia has done to me...lord...) to her charakter, not just her personality or the fun time i spend with her. her new boyfriend, ryan? i approve. someone who treats her the way she DESERVES to be treated. like. girls deserve to be treated the way ryan treats girls. but sarah deserves it extra. wink wink, kiddo.....

werp. good song.

mom sent a package. holy shite. she sent ME: 3 rolls of kolour flim, 1 roll professional b&w, the white stripes cd, a sweater (that i need to return), 1 roll izone film, valentines pen that lights up, konversation hearts, shampoo/konditioner, gum, kool aid, powerpuff girl vday dekorations, powerpuff girl valentines and i got a package from dad. he sent kool aid and mr. noodles like i requested, a thing of laura sekord kandy, 2 boxes of l'il debby things. good stuff. annd then i got a kard from me grandparents, a valentime from alex (sweetheart! thanks for the smile) annd...matching valentines from my little rugrat brothers. they sent me the EXAKT same harry potter valentine. i must have a word. ...however, kome to think of it, it is of ron and harry and the flying kar, and kaylee pointed out that it did kind of look like my little brothers (a red head and one with a forehead skar). so maybe its symbolik?

once upon a time, does everyone remember when charmingsarah was like....obsessively listening to the pulp song 'ansaphone'. yep. i do. annnd...i was randomly listening to the mixtape she made me (grreat mixtape, really great. its shamefully quiet tho. shamefully.) and wow what a great song, and i loved charmingsarahs wacky stories of living in that basement apartment with such great laundry anxiety in her first year at broc. generally, i just love charmingsarah. and also i miss rodski, to whom i haven't spoken to since friday. i've emailed once or twice. annd...she writes a lot which is good. kracks me up, that one.

and. right now i am thinking that maybe my work here is inspired by hunter s. thompson, despite only having a kursory knowledge of the kid. i am wondering if this is gonzo journalism. i think you kould make a kase for livejournal being allll gonzo journalism. it revolves around the writers personality, annnnd the only merit that the events have are...bekause these much celebrated whiny-wimps have experienced them and related them to us. livejournal grants every random droopy drawers out there the license to whine and ramble, etc and they have been given the krazy notion somewhere along the line thaaatt...people want to listen? thatttt...they're interesting enough, that every godforsaken bowel movement is kompletely meaning filled and deserves to be dokumented. yep. thats my hypothesis. perhaps i should write a paper? perhaps not.

ha. i love talking like its someone else, not me. grand!

i know a girl who. reminds me of cher.
shes always changin. the kolour of her hair.

[bono vox: jesus etc. - wilko]

[TUESFEB1103|12:32 p.m.]

[ even i kan play dead ]
wow. this isn't the place to put this, but kan anyone else besides rodski not view this? lol.

i just went and did one of those 'matchmaker' things that we all did in high school. but this is a residence matchmaker. i only did it the once, way back in grade 7. it was a bit of a letdown as only 2 males from my grade had the balls to do it, soooo...we really didn't get any results. pity.

fire alarm this morning as i was washing dishes in my cherry underpants. woo. skrambled to find klothes, threw on some flipflops and out i went into the snow. kowered in renfrew house for 15 mins. richard wasn't home to let us in. richard kame over last nite to look at party piktures. i was fighting a losing battle with influenza and subsequently was very much a dud. i had to eat some very high kalorie ice kream afterwards. had to.

cherakee kouldn't talk to me on the phone last nite bekause she was doing homework. what a bitch, eh? not surprisingly, amanda was "free". so we uhh...shot some shit? boys, basikally. i swear to god theres a new one that they're stalking every time i kall. or like...they've found out someones zodiak sign and they're kreaming themselves over the kosmik appropriatness of it all. what nutters.

one klass today and then i must do my musik paper. i have to define popular musik! this is like...dizzyingly fascinating. its probably the only topik i kan think about for an extended period of time, and in any sort of akademic fashion. wow. i am such a nerd.

dizzyingly. hmmm. it would be interesting to find out if that word aktually exists......

[bono vox: godless - dandy warhols]

[Friday, February 7, 2003|03:50 p.m.]
KREEPY AS HELL oh my god...these people bring you such oddities as a fake eminem livejournal..and fake eminem is having a relationship with a fake britney spears......theres also britneys sister, the whole kast of harry potter, eminems MOTHER, avril lavigne and other assorted pop strumpets and banana hammocks...and they all hang out at "mandy moore"s house. this totally fucking kreeps me out. annd...they make these stars gay in a lot of the journals. i am finding this kompletely warped. i am just wondering what a person finds wrong with themselves that they feel the need to akt out a celebrities life on the internet in a VERY sexual kontext. holy.

i feel like i'm in kindergarten again and i'm playing she ra. wtf?

[bono vox: - ]

[FRIFEB703|01:13 p.m.]

[ paranoid voodoo superstition edition ]
todays horroskope is terrible. usual i don't kare. but today i do. yesterdays was good. and today told me the komplete opposite of yesterday. all of my qualities that were praised yesterday are now being admonished. i kan't help the way i am?

sue was fantastik. we watched her give the hand held mikrophone a blowjob. she thrusted her hips a lot. she swore. she taught me that a male gets a hard on every 5 mins...every 8 mins in his sleep. how did i not know that? jake why didn't you tell me!??!? what good are you as my only ambassador to the male gender if you leave these little tidbits out!?!?

i spilled chokolate milk on my pants. i knew this morning as i was putting them on that i'd ruin them somehow before tonite. i did however get a cheque for $35. BUT then...they were serving kream of mushroom soup in the kaf...which is the 'soup colleen drunkenly pukes.' i didn't have any...but i am much afeard that its mere presence will kause some drunksick tonite. god. why am i such a wreck all the time?

SOMEONE PLEASE TAPE KONAN O'BRAIN FOR ME TONITE. SUPERGRASS! I FEAR I WILL BE RATHER INTOXIKATED TO REMEMBER...AND OR HOOK THE FLOOR VCR UP TO THE FLOOR TV, ETC. oh and pamela...i would love your kompany to kome see supergrass. i don't kare WHAT kind of fan you are...i jsut don't want to force you to kome to all these koncerts, y'know? especially since i didn't make it out to see sigur ros avek toi. tickets should be approx. $20 annnd...then busfare will be reduced by at LEAST a third. perhaps half if both rivi and sarah end up koming. it is kompletely up to you my dear, i will respekt your decision either way.

oh yeah. and i am sitting here hoping that everyone i know is experiencing happiness. rodski, i did type out an 8 mile email to you and then it got...lost.

[bono vox: khristian krap - karol's stereo]

[THURSFEB603|08:29 p.m.]

[ the sid vicious school of tambourine playing ]
woah. so much stuff. in a little bit i'm going to wander down to rez kommons to see if i kan get a seat to see 'sex with sue'. gee. sue johanson taught me everything i know. like...the word 'queef'.

got a kredit kard today. annnd...the enslavement begins. i'm just a pawn for the man.

i was a poll klerk this week. that went well. the elektions didn't, but...that had nothing to do with me. disqualifikations, people stepping down, apologies, petitions...there may be a new elektion. which i'm all hooraying about kos maybe then i will get re-hired! even tho they haven't paid me yet.

i kan't stop eating. i aktually got dressed today, bekause i had a journalism presentation. i just did laundry...which was like...exklusively pyjamas. my laundry bag broke. woe is me.

sat in front of 2 stoners in the history of popular musik today, which was hilarious. have i mentioned my wingnut prof, either? he's such a namedropper...which is kool kos he drops good names ("my infant son likes to listen to the jon spencer blues explosion") but also krappy kos...its a tad pompous and annoying (i am doomed to be simultaneously attrakted to and repelled by My Own Kind. sigh...i shall never find a mate that i won't hate half the time.) he also plays good musik during klass. anyway. i passed his office and noticed he has the following 3 posters on his wall: ok komputer, old skool 'live thru this' era hole, and sonik youth. but today he wore ridikulous winter boots to klass. i kan't decide whether to love this guy or be cheesed off at him.

so yeah........ kredit kard. i kan now purchase my supergrass tickets. pamela was that a no? just making sure before i order....speaking of, supergrass are on mike bullard today. when the fuck is that on? perhaps i should find out?

tomorrow nite...i hope is so fun. its sarahs early birthday party. we're playing drunken monopoly (its kalled 'pass out') and other assorted drinking games. i have the hugest bottle of wine ever (i have turned into a gigantik wino. tis terrible.)...sarah, richard and others should be in attendance. and frankly, i want another massage. i WILL get one. ....sue would be so proud!

[bono vox: kountry yard - the vines]

[TUESFEB403|04:14 p.m.]
he does it to himself

[bono vox: - ]

[MONFEB303|06:20 p.m.]

[ someone kall noah ]
so. bridgewater, my home base,.....is having some problems today. the river is jammed with ice. and the old bridge is damaged and the water might rise with the tide, and they're evakuating some people and they kalled in an icebreaker and when the ice melts hit the decks and and and....people is goin' positively NUTS, yo. tis funny. well, sitting here in ottawa i am laughing. but. i think i'm safe....

oh. and amanda? perhaps you might want to make sure that you are listening to CKBW on the morn' of your brithday. i was on the ckbw site today reading about the flood and...i got an idea you see. heh.

[bono vox: amerikan pie/smells like teen spirit - tori amos]

[Saturday, February 1, 2003|10:23 p.m.]
klick here to see some of my karleton photography...the moving piktures on the front page are almost all mine.

[bono vox: - ]

[SATFEB103|01:21 p.m.]

[ komparing your bellyaches ]
last nite went to the movies with sarah and richard. sarah bugged richard about her boy problems, richard is a bit of a smartarse, but hey why wouldn't i like that? then he gave me a massage that made me nearly kum in my pants and then he fell asleep on my ass watching greg the bunny at 3 am. he's a kool kid, that richard.

i will do anything to see this movie. britpawp!

off to kall me mum before she sends skotland yard after me for not kalling. altho, she's probably glued to cnn and chainsmoking and fretting about this spaceship krash. meh.

[bono vox: trailer trash - modest mouse]

[FRIJAN3103|12:53 a.m.]

[ shower shoes and antiseptik ]
if i had my way, those of us that feel the need to keep konversation going would be guaranteed a spot in heaven. i decided this in musik klass. i kan't remember why. like...those of us who have enough presence of mind to be afraid of silence get a "go direktly to heaven, kollekt $200..." kard. its only right. the assholes who hang around and wait for you to speak to THEM...well, fuck them. they frankly don't deserve to be spoken to. bekause...BEKAUSE...their lack of participation, while it may be a symptom of shyness/insekurity whatHAVEyou, is in aktuality quite FUCKING rude. you are INDIKATING that konversation is about you. bekause you pause, look of expektation, while the other half of the konversation freaks out and desperately klaws through their mental archive of misc. krap in order to pull up a topik of konversation. NOW, if you were BOTH working, sharing the workload, it wouldn't be so bad. ...and then i just BET that once the person finds something to say to you, you merely answer and wait for the next inquiry. like it's not your JOB to return the favour by indikating interest, however false and dutiful it may be, by inquiring something yourself. like, what? what is that? are you just that special, is that it? you're special and i'm not? my mother taught me manners, didn't yours?

ahem. exkuse me. just bugs me, is all......ahem.

speaking of heaven, its jesus week here at karleton, i guess. there are these huge banners that proklaim it 'jesus week' and the byline is: watch for him. and i'll be DAMNED if i haven't seen him, y'know? perhaps it's a bit nippy to be out there in robes and sandals...but i must say, he hasn't been in the tunnels either. whaddya know? and also, i thought that maybe my roommate would be gone more often. nope. guess not.

hey...wanna meet people? decide to go downtown in minus 8 thousand weather wearing your shower shoes (aka: flip flops) to go to the drug store to pick up antiseptik for your new piercing, that you are now minorly freaking out about bekause you finally read the sheet that your piercist gave you and you are supposed to have been washing your piercing three_times_a_day with antiseptik...for the first month, and you have yet to wash it with anything other than good old fashioned water, which i guess just isn't good enough anymore. yeah. try it. ...watch people STARE at your feet. watch them wonder if you're homeless and/or high and/or about to steal their purse. wait for the flamboyant half of a gay kouple to ask if "honey, aren't your feet kold?" and then a foreign man will tell you that he "feels kold for you" right before he MOCKS the way you shrug your shoulders. but THEN your bus will arrive. and you get to go home. annnnd wash your piercing for the first time. which will be an experience. lemme tell YOU....bekause it's in your vagina and frankly, you're getting sick of spending so much goddamn time down there.

just watched beautiful mind. wooo. got my heart broke. and also this mysterious sekind package? possibly doesn't exist. bekause possibly you got two slips for the same package.

bekause its jesus week. and jesus hates you.

[bono vox: oh sweet nuthin' - vu]

[WEDJAN2903|03:03 p.m.]

[ said your body was young, but your mind was very old ]
alex just sent me one of the nicest emails ever! she repeatedly affirmed her love for my ass. i like people who are down with my back door. and i think it's decided guys. altho, the jean shirt may provide kleavage, my signature shirt provides something better: colleen!

this morning a war started. well, in my mind at least. well, i won't DO anything about it but...it has certainly changed my way of thinking. this morning, i failed to wake up for journalism...only doing so as my roomate, who is also in journalism (the only klass we have together...we go together every week and sit in silence. yippee.) was klosing and locking the door at 9:26 this fair morning. (journalism starts at 9:30) i was almost half an hour late. now listen, i wouldn't expekt her to wait for me and make her late. i would expekt her to give me a shove or a yell..a "hey colleen, are you going to klass?". she didn't even enquire. i don't sleep thru klasses, and i have never had to depend upon her to be my alarm klock, or my watcher before (which, for me? is pretty damn good. it's only my sekond klass i slept in for THIS YEAR. i think i did that a week, in high school). in konklusion: we are all very mad, and i'm not krazy...she doesn't try.

the dishwasher in the kaf is broken. we ate on plastik plates. fuck, it felt like a piknik. but with krappy food.

i got a package today from me mum of things i forgot at home during xmas. and the pikturs i took are krappy. how disappointing. and i guess i got another package? but i kan't pick it up yet? maybe i'll go right now to try and pick it up. i don't know who its from? everything ends with a question mark? i guess so?

we had a job fair today that was komplete and utter krud. i went to staples and made 20 kopies of my resume (rivi did 45. tool!) annnd...i pssed out one resume. i was interested in tree planting, till i noticed that the guy was missing teeth. urk. i amde the korrelation and decided that if i planted trees i'd somehow lose my teeth.

oh yeah...and i forgot to mention yesterday that my piercings name is Gertrude Stein. don't get Gertrude konfused with Polly Jean, who is my vagina.

[bono vox: setting sun - chemikal brothers]

[TUESJAN2803|09:07 p.m.]

[ auto self sexual service ]
today, i got a horizontal clitoral hood piercing. or as sarah likes to kall it...a krotch piercing. i would so find a pikture an dlink it, but i really don't want you people pikturing my vagina. if you feel the need, then you may search it out yerself. and i went to the koolest place ever. and my piercest (? is that what they're kalled?), stacy, was such a sweetheart...but her stretched ears almost make me gag. and and and...as they were piercing me, sweet karoline kame on for no apparent reason. previously, we had been enjoying bob marley, and jane's addiktion...and horrid metal krap, that frankly was NOT making me relax with a stranger in my downstairs. but suddenly...the klouds parted, and neil diamon kame shining thru, putting me at ease while i had my Vagina Jewelry installed. and i didn't even bleed :)

yo. so. no one tell my parents, ok?

i got the sweetest bettie page postkard in the mail today, from rodski. thanks man! but really...phew...too much kink for one day, eh? spread it out a bit.....

[bono vox: sweet karoline (in head) - neil diamond]

[TUESJAN2803|12:47 a.m.]

[ what else should i be? ]


...and then it told me to stop having konversations with myself. damn. ...i guess it's going to get pretty fucking quiet. ha, look at that pikture. i'm fucking queen of the kastle, is what i am.

ew, but check out my 'addiktions' akkording to this thing: "Over-indulgence in rich foods, sweets, alcohol to alter mood, to socialize, and for emotional consolation. Lack of physical activity. Bulimia. Depressants. Tobacco, prescription drugs, or heroin for social anxiety. Cosmetic surgery to erase rejected features."

hmmm. i am so not bulimik. i would be kurious to hear what my friends got. email me. ...or don't, it's kompletely up to you.

[bono vox: all apologies - nirvana]

[MONJAN2703|12:13 p.m.]

reason #8 trillion, 325 million, 280 thousand, 5 hundred and 6 NOT TO LISTEN TO A DAMN THING CHAD KROEGER SAYS (or sings. but really. that's just preventative medicine.) what a fuckin twat! i wonder what shirley manson has to say about this.

oh, and my father has sekured me a kredit kard. however, it just has to get here in time for friday?

[bono vox: hurt - NIN]

[SUNJAN2603|03:05 p.m.]

[ burn me up on re-entry ]
there is an art to making mixtapes, we all know that. my favorite parts are the 'power triumverates'...those fantastik klumps. a mixtape that you love all the way thru is a very rare bird, indeed. so, for a tape to have one or maybe even two (one per side!) of these nuggets o' genius is truly great. i am, i must say, a lucky girl. lucky to be in possession (this reflekts well on my friends eh? and ultimately upon me. good choice of choosers, colleen. i have good taste in those with taste? tasters?) of several fine, fine mixtapes. rodski's mixtape, for example, has this awesome one-two-three punch knockout on the first side that konsists of:
london/noonday underground, ruff stuff/gomez, and johnny and mary/ placebo.

and then...the last mixtape that fair robin sent my sorry ass (summer) ends with this great, and kompletely eklektik chunk that i listened to over and over while hurriedly packing for university, the day i found out that i had to leave for university, umm...tomorrow. unfortunately, the track listing got misplaced in my mad packing spree. but it goes like this: modest mouse (i think. something about math equations), morcheeba (a song about the sea), and nick cave (an invalid writer?).

just wanted to share. those are just 2 examples. i'm pretty sure i kould cite each and every mixtape i've ever been given. but i won't.

oh my god. someone make my answering machine lite stop blinking. eff you. i've checked you 8 billion times. there is no message. i went to the bathroom and kame back to a message saying that i got the polling klerks job. hooray. i'll make like, a grand total of $25. but. that'll be $25 more than i had before?

trouble in supergrassland. i need a fucking kredit kard to order them. and not my mothers, bekause i need to bring the kredit kard to montreal on the 8th of march, to pick up me tickets beforehand. and...even if she did send me her kredit kard, would they really let me pick them up using a kredit kard that is very obviously not mine (i need to show id as well)? what to do, what to do?

i get no sleep anymore. my dad kalled last nite to tell me he put a new light fixture up in his dining room. i was like, wahoo. i think he kalled kos it was robbie burns day. i guess he wanted to know if i were drinking a pint o' whiskey to celebrate. i wanted to say that i doubted whiskey would ever pass my lips ever again. (i tried to drink it wednesday, by the way. i rekoiled and nearly gagged, bekause the mere smell of the kapless bottle brought visions of frosh week. oi.) i said that i had done nothing all weekend, due to my tiredness. i neglekted to mention the kause of my exhaustion, nor the er....umm...exacerbating incident from thursday nite ("hey dad, i smoked some really bad weed and kouldn't breathe for a fair bit. i think i ruined my heart, bekause i kould see it trying to leave my rib kage via my skin and jump out my shirt. and then, damn was i ever wired for half the nite when all was said and done. PHEW!") ...however, i did see fit to mention how kompletely wrecked universitysarah got thursay nite without me at the kampus pub, and how she puked alllll friday from 4 measly retarded smirnoff ice's's's, and how we thought she may have been drugged, kos frankly universitysarah kan do better than that. i said that i laid around friday taking kare of her (again leaving out that i was possibly still high and rekuperating myself. whoops. high or just exhausted to the point of groggy sillyness. what a bad day friday was. especially bekause the maintenance worker kame to sarah's to fix her sink, and there we were, strung out on her bed. dead to the world. i was proud of us for still being alive. i felt like...joe perry and steven tyler. go toxik twins go!)

oh yeah. and here is the difference between universitysarah and i. yesterday, we hauled ass over to That Other University, and dined on really good (old fashioned) pankakes with pamela. then we went to the photog. museum (which was small but reaallly good. i am now obsessed with making gigantik prints one day. yay new life goal. make like, really big piktoors. wanna see me komb my hair, like, reallyfast?) and then we trudged home (both REALLY tired and universitysarah had to verk for zee man). on the bus, i sat us next to some really kute little kids bekause i know how much she loves kids. and as i am reading this week's dirty Savage Love kolumn, what is universitysarah doing? i swear to god she's praktikally flirting with one of these little kids. the whole way home shes all about cooing and smiling and paying all sorts of attention to these kids. what a nutkase. i was like "you're so prediktable" and went back to reading about like, fisting or whatever savage love was on about this week.

charmingsarah, i need to talk to you. email you or something. yon be never on icq, wench. but man do i ever have something to tell you. think 'mixtape'.


Which Nine Inch Nails album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

[bono vox: ? - morcheeba]

[THURSJAN2303|11:14 p.m.]

[ rodski's advice sounds so suave. too bad i'm a dumbass ]
"you could turn up to his place wearing an overcoat and a bottle of red. and insist that you come in."- rodski.
this translates to me showing up in my pj's with koolaid, i'm sure. man. i just need someone to roll my weed for me so i kan go to sleep.

[bono vox: hard to explain - strokes!]

[WEDJAN2203|11:45 a.m.]

supergrass are koming to t.o. and montreal in march! march 8 in montreal! i'll be there if i have to sell my ass on the streets. this kompletely makes up for the shittyness that was perviously my day. i would like to wonder what kan be thrown at me during the remainder of the day to challenge this newly un-shittyness...but i'm too smart to tempt the gods of Fate and Shitty Days (tm).

see, last nite i was so bummed bekause supergrass are koming to t.o. feb. 6 to make an appearance on mike bullard (barf). and. i just KAN'T afford to go. and i just hate toronto these days. it makes me feel so kruddy when i'm there...AND its like, so in the middle of school. and i'm like, so not legal or able to get in. god bless the drinking laws of quebec!

montreal is just a jaunt away par bus, however, and i'd only have to miss one school day bekause the bus leaves hourly. they're playing 'kampus kafe'. where the fuck is that? oh well. as a member of the newsletter i get first krack at the tickets on friday! sweet!

and in ladytron news, i am negotiating with fair pamela. we're gonna try to make it!

no...but...did everyone hear that? rodski? cherakee/amanda? alex...jake!? supergrass. again. and not in some dumb stadium. i want to be klose enough to have gaz's babies. i WILL be klose enough to have gaz's babies.

[bono vox: daughter - pearl jam]

[TUESJAN2103|12:04 p.m.]

[ do not exceed rekommended dosage ]
fuck you, tag board i know you're not broken. you just want me to upgrade and pay you money. you do this periodikally, but i'm hip to your scheme, and mama didn't raise no fool.

ladytron thank the eighties and ebay in their liner notes. what a bunch of robot hep kats. i did some investimagatin' last nite. i hope i hope i hope i kan go see them in a month.

last nite i went on a downloading spree at one in the morning. i am now kompletely without mp3 downloading kapabilities (kalibre or no) i tried twister, piolet and ares. ares is the best and twister was the worst. they're all kinda iffy.

pamela...is it possible to do brunch on saturday and THEN go to zee museum? sarah has to verk for zee man at 5. ?? yes? no? let me know?

[bono vox: zmeyka - ladytron]

[SUNJAN1903|03:55 p.m.]

[ right about now ]
pamela, would you like to go to zee kanadian museum of photography on saturday? i think its free. and its not too far from yon residence. see, sarah and i are just talking. annnnd. we want to go on saturday. and we want YOU (just like unkle sam. yep. but more so.)

sarah and her friends (and rivi) went to a strip klub in gatineau last nite. i missed a penis-y good time, apparently. i thinkwere going feb 7 (when sarah's friend crystal komes to visit again and we have early birthday celebrations for sarah. suite party! woo) i watched two movies at the mayfair theatre instead due to my broke-ness. robin (are you still here?) i wish that you would watch pedro almodovar's talk to her and tell me what you think about it. i thought of you. the movie is BEAUTIFUL and beuatifully akted. er...the ending gets a bit twisted but still quite good. and really...anyone should see it just for the fake silent b&w film in the middle...bekause a guy gets shrunken and then he takes off his klothes and dives into his gf's vagina and lives there forever. this is funny bekause the gigantik vagina is klearly not a gigantik vagina. imagine, eh? well...its hard to find an authentik gigantik vagina these days.

anyway, the sekond movie wasn't very good. rub and tug...the only good thing was don mckellar (who if you squint might be andrew skott's krummier twin. maybe). it was so faux hip. er. and it kouldn't decide if it wanted a plot or not. so it went back and forth from art aesthetik and shite plot. oh well.

going to see chikago on tuesday with rivi. seeing bowling for kolumbine on the 31st w/ sarah, richard and richards friend. seeing igby goes down (yes? is that what we decided pamela?) with mizz pamela. yep.

my reading for mass komm is very interesting this week. its about kids. and its talking about the 'strawberry shortkake strategy'and its namechecking all my 80's favorites. its good stuff. maybe i'll get a good mark on ym reading report. maybe? probably not. i still dont know how to do those things.

[bono vox: rockafeller skank - slimboy fat]

[WEDJAN1503|10:59 p.m.]

[ i luv rodski, jake and marcel ] and this is why:
-bekause once rodski and marcel were going to "surprise me with a layout".
-bekause they didn't kos marcel was being "a nazi" (akkording to rodski. who had a grand vision)
-bekause rodski said that maybe they might cease being a "kouple" and let me join their relationship (rendering us a "sandwhich"...me being the kanadian faktion of a great aussie-kanuck-aussie kombo...)
-jake macdonald kontinues to be the most perfekt guy EVER by having the following konversation w/ me:
leen: ...i hate boys. why do i ignore my true kalling as a lesbian?
jake: i don't know, but you should give in soon biatch. the fag express is leaving rainbow port in a couple of days, and if you don't have a ticket, you're gone. ......what the fuck am i saying? beh. anyway, i hate boys too. why do i ignore my true calling as an asexual organism?
.....bekause you're too GOOD LOOKING to be asexualm, my dear. get out there, do the world a favour and...spread your seed, laddie....
-and then THIS which might just be the sekond best kompliment i've ever received:
"colleen, you are a scary ride, but you're also the best ride in the entire amusement park. ....i don't mean that sexually.....although maybe you are.... i'm not willing to check."

...annnd i have had a dryer sheet in my bra all day. i wanted to smell like laundry today. hey, maybe the boys will like it? i have like...Snuggles bosoms... kome and get 'em....

[bono vox: - ]

[WEDJAN1503|12:00 p.m.]

[ what i'm on about ]
woop woop strike averted somehow. puzzling and amazing. ...this means i have a t.a. group at 1:30. shite. i was kinda hoping to have all afternoon to do this annotated bibliography that i HAVEN'T BLOODY STARTED (i am so hopeless). durrr.

i want a subskription to bust magazine. for my birthday? and also maybe for my birthday (but in advance) mum will give me the bus and hostel kosts for a quick jaunt to montreal to see LADYTRON at klub soda in feb. raaaaar.

heh. a few days ago in the kaf, i returned from refilling me tankard with ale (arrrrr, matey. ...ok, it was blue juice) to find rivi and sarah diskussing something rather animatedly. i guess in the minute of my absence they ahd diskovered that sarah had always sekretly wanted to be a wedding planner and rivi, a katerer. they were jokingly diskussing starting up a business. i arrived just as they were hiring me..."..and colleen kan be the photographer!" sarah exklaimed. "i don't know, sarah...you know how colleen is. she'll just take piktures of their feet or something..." said rivi. good god, i nearly spilled my blue juice. bekause it was the god damned truth...

if you have tried to email me in the last day or two (snort) and found that my box was full, it is now empty and waiting to receive your korrespondence, and devour it hungrily.

[bono vox: supersonik - oasis]

[TUESJAN1403|11:37 a.m.]

[ woke yer muther up ]
so, herr doktor....i have written TWO entries now that have been eaten for vairous reasons. IN FAKT, just writing that sentence, lester's keyboard did something as i tried to kapitalize and poor, there went the sentence i had written. unfortunately these entries were bleepin' HUGE...i mean, especially the last one kos it was 2 in 1. this is why there hasn't been one for awhile and it's so irking me. there are 8 thousand things to say.

BUT. tomorrow morning @ 7 am is the strike date for karleton t.a's. annnd...pretty much everyone is treating it with grim pessimism. it is generally accepted that there will be a strike. bekause they've been negotiating for months and the t.a's have given in to things and karleton hasn't. APPARENTLY. there are ads from both sides in the paper and on kampus. i just passed by the bathroom and there was a note from my floor rep explaining the situation, etc etc. wow. geez. my armpits are dry. ha. aren't you glad you know?

[bono vox: 2 kindsa love - JSBX]

[SUNJAN1203|01:05 p.m.]

[ alex james, feel free to marry me at any time ]
"Cigarettes are fireworks. They let off a slow explosion in the middle of the brains. It is deadly, we know. But we love to play with the fire. I smoked my last cigarette. It is the final stage of growing up. I liked being a cheeky young fucker but it’s not forever. There is other stuff. The whole point of the rock and roll dream is that it can’t last forever. You could look at life after 30 as renouncing all the things you loved doing during your 20’s one by one.Life is always beyond all expectations and whatever we believe great things may be true. Maybe. I need a holiday. Ben’s going to New York with the album in his pocket. It’s being masterized by some hip fuck with a jazzy name. Whatever. We have to make videos now and be cool at all times in case someone is looking. Went down the shops with Graham. He’s alright.I once spent a whole afternoon writing Jo Strummer a reference so he could join a posh drinking club. The next time I picked up the N.M.E. there he was annihilating Blur with some carefully considered invective. Then the fucker died. We all cried."

library. and then entry. i double dutch pinkie swear.

[bono vox: ladykiller - lush]

[TUESJAN703|06:32 p.m.]

[ trying not to be sick again ]
oh and i forgot. i am proud bekause i bought $6 wine today from loblaws. it's good stuff today. big sale on wine! 40% off. it's inniskillin. if i enjoy it as much as i seem to rekall enjoying inniskillin, i am going back and stocking up as if it were some sort of wine-apokalypse type ordeal. i mean...it won't go bad, now will it? (i'm too drole for my shirt)

also, alex james looks like jimmy fallon when alex james is dressed in drag, oddly enough (see parklife video for reference)

[bono vox: to the end - blur]

[TUESJAN703|05:54 p.m.]

[ no mother lives here ]
i got a c+ on my kan his exam. this satisfies my newly lowered expektations! now if only i kould find my tweezers.

sarah gets off work at 8 tonite and i will go meet her halfway in the tunnels and kome back here and we will kreate my seamonkies! i wonder how many there will be. i need to know, in order to name them.

> snicker. i changed the swear words in my tag board to the word 'smurf' some time ago. oh am i ever tickled. people should start swearing in my tagboard more often.

today i was produktive. kancelled my newspaper and paid my tuition. unfortunately i waited until after dinner to check my mail, which inkluded a NEW bill. that was $1000 less due to my halved scholarship. assholes. why did they send me 3 different bills for my tuition? karleton is so bloody stupid. i go to such a bad university. honestly.

umm. people want to see me do things sometimes. like, shawn said that i should volunteer for a paper up here. i said i would at the beginning of the year, then decided i would in the sekond term, then decided i wanted nothing to do with journalism. but shawn insists i should do at least cd reviews. i don't know. i don't think so. i wanted to do some radio. perhaps i'll give them a ring. i might want to pursue that instead of journalism.

i saw a poster today about auditions for our theatre group's produktion of the rocky horror pikture show. i started thinking about auditioning. but. now i've just read the audition requirements. it's not very possible for me to get this together. and it looks like they want real singers and dancers (of which i am neither). so...i guess i'll just go see it instead. sorry jake :)

the only thing that saves the 'there's no other way' video (and lets not even talk about the song...oi...)is the way damon drinks his glass of water. and his bowltop hairkut. oh and his mime-esque getup.

[bono vox: for tomorrow - blur]

[MONJAN603|06:24 p.m.]

[ something you kould borrow ]
i learned something today! i like to be able to say that. i'm forever lamenting that here i am at school and at the end of most days i haven't LEARNED anything. nothing that i kan ever rekall, anyway. i only had mass komm today(i skipped my ta group. we were only getting our essays back, and i don't want it frankly.) we have a new professor. i love him. he is so dynamik and he kommands attention and my mind only wandered a few times. my last porfessor was a nice guy, but young. he always lost me when he would take massive pauses to go BACK to his notes, bekause in his excitement (i guess) he had wandered so far away from his material, and wasn't familiar enough to keep talking. i'm pretty sure my new professor didn't even look at his notes once. he told good stories. he was nice. he was funny but not distraktingly so. he seemed to be enjoying himself. i took the best notes. i wish to share.

we talked about 'behaviorism and functionism' which are two media theories. it all has to do with the effect of media on people, ie: violence on tv makes people kommit akts of violence and advertising alters our consumer habits. behaviorism is the view that the mind is a blank slate and absorbs everything from tv without question. functionalism is the view that people are already located within 'MEMBERSHIP GROUPS' and a message can only be effective if it finds its way in. functionalism (also known as stimulus response) is fascinating. it beleives that media/information goes from the media source and is then FILTERED through the 'OPINION LEADERS' of the membership groups. a person kan belong to many membership groups. the primary membership group is the family but is also many cirkles of friends and people who share the same interests (ie: your bowling klub). the thing is about membership groups is they keep more information OUT than let it. bekause they have kommon values to preserve (this is very true of my friends, who have kultivated friendships based on a shared sense of outsiderness and freakdom. it is to a point where we distrust most non pussy posse-ers.) the opinion leader shares these kommon values but has INTERESTS to preserve. the opinion leader has more influence on the group and works to maintain certain group norms. and THUS, information (ie: media) is filtered through these opinion leaders before it is delivered to a person. get it? cool, huh?

the question is, who, among my group of friends is the opinion leader? i've been thinking about it and i kan make, pretty much, a kase for every one of my friends. it's probably alex or cherakee tho. and then there's my friends at university. and it might be sarah. but it might be rivi. and if we were better friends with viktoria it kould very well be her.
and while i was trying to figure out who was who, i realised that there are some retarded parallels among my university friends and the pussy posse. sarah is cherakee. rivi is alex. viktoria is amanda. and greg has to be jake i guess....not much but...well...they're both male. so that's the way it goes, i guess...

it is kompletely weird to have just been there and now be here. to keep them both in my mind. i had just stopped almost kalling cherakee 'sarah' and now here i am and kan't for the life of me stop referring to sarah as 'cherakee.' damn it all.

the essay topiks for this term in mass komm look, i must say, positively skrumptious. yes i did just say that. i don't know which one to do! i am looking forward to writing it. i may start soon. (isn't that novel?) ok. i should go back to kleaning. my wee cell is overflowing now. but kan't i just sit here and watch the parklife video all day? (it's so supergrassy. just watch alex james at every opportunity. what a fey little imp.) man. i think that i may have to write a review. yep. like, 8 thousand pages of things i notice and feel kompelled to komment upon but KAN'T kos no one here gives a rat's arse about blur and how fantastik they are. so. i may have to write it here. perhaps.

hmph. i want to roll down the hill with damon albarn just like in the video! he's an aries you know. that explains his massive and retarded kreativity. he's a leader.

[bono vox: for tomorrow - blur]

[MONJAN603|12:56 a.m.]

[ i want to krawl all over her ]
back in res. there appear to be some kasualties. some non-returners. with glee i report this. i feel triumphant even tho in my heart i know i am one of these MIA, i am just...still here. i'm not really here. i'm not a university student. (i am however, bright, making a big mistake and lacking maturity if my mother is to be konsulted regarding the matter. who asked her anyway? shes just my mother. just.)

my hair is retardedly red again. and i had jsut returned from my hair appointment friday when my mother informed me that, shock of all shocks, i had to leave immediately after dinner to go to halifax. a big storm was a komin', we wouldn't be able to make it into halifax on saturday for my flight. we went friday to beat it, and i stayed alone in a hotel. when she told me i just wanted to laff. i would miss the goodbye get together at alexs that night. i would porbably not be able to say goodbye to some people just as i hadn't been able to in august. i decided to regard it as funny. besides, i had privately wished something of the sort would happen again so i wouldn't have to do an auschwitz death march type thing with my dear friends. i did hate knowing 'how long we had left' etc.

i have kompletely neglekted xmas, haven't i? it was exceptional. it really was. we got along so, so well. retarded amount of gifts and i think i'm happy (and more importantly most everyone else is) with the gifts i bought. i already listed what i had bought myself. i got the best of blur dvd (JUST WATCHED IT!! i might fail university bekause of it. kan i be a professional blur video watcher? whats the pay like?), a webkam (WHICH IS NOT SETTING UP PROPERLY! like. i kan see myself on the skreen, which is all well and good but...i kan't send anyone else the stuff from my webkam. not w/ msn, kamarades.kom or the software that kame with it. i mean...i have a mirror for this purpose. i don't need to stare at my skreen, watching my webkam watch me. kan anyone help?), krazy wooden hand ornaments, a joykam, the simpsons klue, sea monkies, star lamp from kathryn, douglas coupland's 'souvenirs of kanada', some movies...

watching an hour and a half worth of blur videos is time well spent. you kome away with the konklusion that the entire blur videography is an exercise in cheeky-monkeydom kum artwankerism. really. it's just the various members of blur displaying as much cheek and sarkasm, piss n' vinegar (all the while being shabbily, marvelously dressed with a magnificent array of mussed hairdos.) as possible. damon is the kaustik, eye roll-y cheeky monkey. graham the sulky, alkohol-soaked cheeky monkey. alex the sekret (just watch his face in the videos. he's ALWAYS doing something), effeminate cheeky monkey. and dave? the er, drumming cheeky monkey of kourse.

oh yeah and new years? i decided 10 minutes to midnite that i hate the celebration of new years. just too hollow. based on the kalander and not aktual events of a person's life, and such. inspires too much anxiety and panik, when it's really quite artificial. a hollow holiday. one of many. i asked my assembled friends "do we really want to do anything?" and we decided just to let it pass. what difference does a little skreaming and kissing make? so we sat in defiance, instead, in piles on the furniture and floor. eating lots and being obnoxious to each other, poking at our bodies and those of our neighbours. and it wasn't a huge shindig bekause the town was koated in ice, spontaneously, it seemed. since bridgewater is built on hills, it was indeed very dangerous a trek to 164 queen from anywhere that wasn't queen street. my very devoted cirkle of friends managed it (and a massive amount of fruit flies tagged a long. i have no idea how my house kan even be disgusting when it's mirakulously klean. and kan fruit flies live in december? somehow...), and brought food. so we just vegetated and tempted the gods of metabolism.

airtravel disagrees with me. i haven't been on a plane since 1995, back when my main worry was my ruddy ears popping. initially i enjoyed it, but that was when they were merely driving the plane thrillingly fast and preparing to shoot me up into the air. i don't like the feeling of all my weight (oi) resting on my back (that tilted, inklined feeling is diskoncerting) rather than firmly upon my well rounded ass (up to the task, my cheeks).luckily, we had to take a sekond run at it, as "not a satisfaktory number of engines were working. not to worry, ladies and gentlemen. there were just not as many as we would have liked. sorry to kause panik," so i got to go "weeeee!" as we barrell assed down the empty, snow choked runway (no other planes were leaving. all kancelled. except my flight and 2 or 3 others going to montreal/ottawa. odd.) a sekond time. unfortunately, the sekond go of it resulted in lift off. yep. i had made the mistake of trying to figure out the mystery of aerodynamiks whilst sitting on the tarmak (delay with baggage and then massive de-icing. was over an hour late landing in ottawa). i kouldn't figure out why we had an engine AND wings. and the wings don't flap or propell us, so what purpose do they serve? well. just as i had gotten myself in a right muddle, they flung me up into the klouds. i didn't feel very konfident that planes kan fly (selfish of me, bekause...i mean just bekause my lowly brain kan't figure it out, doesn't mean that flight does not okkur regardless. daily, as a matter of fakt, and by kountless people no less! duh colleen.) so i was a ball of nerves. oh, and then i looked out the window. and when i kould finally see (darkness and snow) something, my god the klouds were below me and i started to feel like i wasn't existing. i'm in the air. i'm in the air. why am i in the air? humans don't do this. i'm in the air?! i shouldn't be here. i am violating some natural order. i am not supposed to be here. god is displeased! i had better get down.
man. i just wanted a fucking...sedative. i should never fly. and thank the lord that the person sitting next to me never showed. i didn't need to have a klaustrophobia attack as well. no, air travel is not so great. philosophy just gets the best of me (amanda: colleen, what was your thought as we went over the guardrail? colleen: that nothing can ever be the same. this changes everything. amanda: do you ever stop thinking?)ahem. get this fat bitch out of my kastle. chortle.

so. it didn't feel like new years without me reading bridget jones. i read it on the plane. why? bekause 2 xmases ago i got b.j and read it on new years (and like sarah said it was a kompletely appropraite time to be reading it). i also happened to get the sekond (and somewhat inferior b.j. last xmas) and read it around new years. this year i felt left out (altho i did get the movie for xmas). and dug it out of my bag (bringing it back to res to force it upon various people.) to read on the plane. strange parallels we lead, eh sarah? jes.

oh right; the fat bitch. i had a dream over xmas holiday that i was in a haunted kastle. inhabited by some 'dame' with red hair who wor a lot of red. cherakee and amanda and i are there. i am snapping piktures of random things in the kastle, as per usual. i decide to take piktures OF the dame herself in her koffin. i get cherakee to take piktures of me with the dead dame's korpse (i prop her up and give the peace sign. how kliche, i am disappointed in myself). so. then we're at home (my house in toronto) and suddenly the piktures are developed. they magikally appear. the dame did it, as she is kosmikally pissed at me for being so insensitive with my photography. the piktures of random things are fine. but the piktures of the more personal things are done in pencil krayon. the pikture of the dame and i is, and on the back she wrote "get this fat bitch out of my kastle!". and then there was a pikture of cherakee's eyes that says "nice eyes. this girl will be sad when her grandmother dies." and...i was horrified. a ghost kalled me fat and i was disturbed for the entire dream. i woke up relived. why? bekause some ghost didn't kall me fat afterall? i guess so...anyway. amanda nearly drove off the road when i told them this. it komes from too much dissektion of my freshman body, wondering why i only take piktures of objekts instead of more intimate portraits and thinking how sad cherakee will be when her grandfather dies. it's a big joke now amongst my friends. get that fat bitch out of my kastle.

[bono vox: shes so high - blur]

[TUESDEC3102|12:43 a.m.]

;but most importantly, i'm sitting here braless. for the first time since, i think, august. since i went away. god i hate the way living has to be done sometimes. this small fakt makes me furious. bekause i thought i had made such progress. maybes it's society i don't like. i think it's a shack in the woods for me. i kan make my own fun.

i always kould, y'know.

[bono vox: things i don't remember - ugly kasanova]

[TUESDEC3102|12:07 a.m.]

[ a dream in my brain that just won't go away ]
wow. so ok, whoops. i've been lax, yes? i kould divide thelast 12 days into sektions: the train ride/pre xmas. xmas. the dawdling days since then. tomorrow nite. wait. i kan't write about that. since it has not happened. i bet cherakee knows. ask the witch.

tomorrow people are koming over. i hope they don't puke. which is not really right of me to ask, least of all bekause of who i am and what i have done. but yet i ask it still. not bekause i don't owe some kosmik, karmik puking debt. bekause i do. but it's just not a good idea and plus, when i think of myself as responsible in that situation, as the one with their head on properly it just worries me. in my mind i should not be taking kare of my friends bekause they aren't pathetik. i'm the pathetik one? something like that. it's my department or something. debauchery. i don't like to think that they have to go there, which is a very maternal attitude. but yet i balk at having to akre for tehm in that situation bekause i don't put enough stock in my kompetancy.

got good xmas gifts. i don't like to think about it. i hate money. i'm trying to block money out. i'm trying to block anything beyond jan. 3rd out. i have neither konsidered nor diskussed the university thing with me parents. i haven't worked on my human rights annotated bibliography. it's such a bad situation that i feel i have no kontrol of. somehow xmas gifts komplikate the matter. somehow.

why kan't i have the mp3s from this komputer on my laptop, bekause the laptop has the burner (which. will probably be easy to use once i ask someone how to use it. i'm sure someone will know. surely?), but not the mp3 downloading kapabilities. btw, lord lukan is royally fucked. he kan't do nuthin' no more. yet. i mUST make a graphik. MUST.

i was saying to my friends that it's kompletely weird to physikally be in this lokation 4 months later, a WHOLE SEASON later, and kontinue on with my aktivities seemingly uninterrupted (which we know is jsut not true!). it's like fall was lost. summer to winter, with autumn gone by the wayside. autumn is back in ottawa, and i've only just been gone a week. it's weird how that (that...whole ottawa 'thing'. routine, person, situation etc..) kan go on a shelf. and i'll pluck it back down when i land at the airport (well, with less ease. theres kind of a bit of a tear and stitch job. it's taxing.) it's weird how far ottawa doesn't feel. this komputer chair used to feel lightyears from ontario. i used to measure it by sarah seburn. like, charming sarah was so so far away in fort drearie, but yet in place i was familiar with in the back of my head which used to be my home. and yes it's far. but i'm here and there. so in essence it's not less far, i've jsut established a base in each area. i've added ottawa to a growing list of familiar territory that is konsidered 'homebase' (well. shrinking. i had to take toronto off.) or i dunno, maybe just 'safe'. whatever. all in all i'm glad i had to leave suddenly. i don't like having an exekution date, almost. i kan do this, enjoy this, then it's back to that (i don't mean to make it seem so ominous) and how hard will it be to sit in ottawa during the not-so-breathless moments when i've just been back for a teaser? oh goodness. alert the papers. yet another teen is finally komprehending that whole 'life = unfair/kan't always get what you want' deal. shock me again doktor, kos i like it...

i saw ms. pizzamela macleod today in halifax. we went on a whim with amanda's famille. and there she was. it was so funny. i stopped. my friends kept walking. i had to go "guys stop, this is pamela." larf. oh the komplexities of life. we kouldn't chat long bekause we were late meeting up with amanda's famille. i even forgot to ask her about the koldplay koncert! i'm standing there knowing that there's something i've been meaning to email her about and it didn't kome to me until like, 2 minutes later. i will talk to her shortly tho. i wanna hear this story about her father and xmas presents. i think it's promisingly juicy. heh.

woo! hot guy in chapters! and then he was standing SO klose and i had to kontinue reading a magazine with amanda in a pinched, shaky voice. like, we all saw him as soon as we walked in. he saw us seeing him (heh). we flee immediately to the magazines. amanda and i flip trough blender. he is suddenly RIGHT NEXT TO ME. reading over my shoulder, i imagine. i kinda pause, dumbfounded. turn to amanda who is also in mid-koma, and we kind of fight through the quagmire to regain a semblance of normalcy in our speech and aktions. and then we kept seeing him. and then..well. we follow him. yow. and earlier we were people watching at the gay sekond kup in halifax (yay krotch level viewing!) and people were freaking us out by looking in at US. woah. that's not the way the game GOES, thank you very much. this one guy stared at either me or cherakee. and then a bit later strolled by AGAIN with his eyes hanging out of his eyesockets, and LAFFING. which made us laff. we were just ogling each other and giggling. quite retarded.

my gut hurts. did i just eat a porkchop? man. why oh why? who wants to see my thong? kalm down and queue up, laddies.

[bono vox: something vague - bright eyes]

[THURSDEC1902|09:37 p.m.]

[ ratify this... ]
in 1992, the largest world summit was held in rio. the kyoto treaty. the agreement was to cut the emission of greenhouse gas level of 1990 by 5.2%. canada's personal commitment was 6%.

scientists say if the earth's temperature increases by 1.5 degrees the following will occur:
-1 billion (that's 1 in 6 people) who live somewhere on land will find themselves living underwater.
-diseases will become a problem, like malaria and pulmonary diseases due to the heat.

scientists also say that in the next 50 years, the temp should increase 1.5-6 degrees. the rapidity "scares" them. and they attribute most of it to greenhouse gas.

canada's personal commitment was 6%. since then, it has increased it's greenhouse gas by 15%. those that oppose the ratification of kyoto in canada, such as ralph klein cite economic reasons.

son, there won't be an economy so long as we're underwater.

[bono vox: funeral march - beethoven]

[THURSDEC1902|08:21 p.m.]

[ it better be fuckin christmasy ]
"there is a line of thinking that goes 'if we trade with china they'll become democratic.' however 500,000 iraqi's have died because of our sanctions" -prof.

have i ever mentioned the musik in my kaf? well sometimes there's musik in the kaf. i don't know where they get their cds from. maybe the kaf workers bring them in. bekause it's quite the interesting assortment. usually, it's david usher. i don't know why. very perplexing. and today, like it has been a few times, its been the smashing pumpkins' 'adore' album (girl in front of me in line: "what ARE we listening to?!?!?" snot.) HOWEVER. yesterday it was nirvana. old nirvana, too. vintage. we're talking bleach. and THEN they played TINC! their last album, too. and once, a few weeks ago, i wandered in one lunch hour to the unmistakable sounds of rita mcneil (!!) and then, later that lunch period, cape breton FIDDLE musik. more than once i turned to sarah and spat out "i kould've stayed in nova skotia for this!" over the kourse of that lunch.

and i just went outside for the first time since monday. and it aktually took me a sekond to realise why the air felt different. oh yeah: it's fresh.

ok. i'll be back with more pearls of wisdom from prof. dela salla as i type up my notes. why aren't i doing well in this klass? i should be fucking acing it....

[bono vox: sleeping beauty waltz - tchaikovsky]

[Thursday, December 19, 2002|01:11 p.m.]

whoops. haha, ok that didn't take too long at all.
top 5 cds of 2002 (bekause i only bought 5. hmm. out of like....lemme kount...40 cds i bought all year.)
1= wiretap skars (sparta)
2= a rush of blood to the head (koldplay)
3= highly evolved (the vines)
4= life on other planets (supergrass)
5= source tags and kodes (trail of dead)

**the 'if man is 5' award: honourable mention for being purchased in 2002, enjoyed in 2002 but released ages ago: doolittle (the pixies). bekause i listened to it just that much over the summer. (runner up: relationship of kommand (at the drive in))

umm i only saw 4 movies in the theatre:
1= bowling for kolumbine
2= the bourne identity
3= spiderman
4= one hour photo

koncerts
1= sparta at babylon, oct. 2.
2= sloan/strokes at acc, oct. 9
3= battle of the bands at forest heights high school, february (hehehe. it was pretty sweet.)

video:
grace by supergrass.

looking forward to in 2003:
koldplay koncert in february. hopefully ladyton as well. maybe visiting montreal! the new blur album!

akkomplishments: graduating high school. umm. i got a pretty swell kamera? i won something from the wedge? i guess university...even if it's not going as planned. it's still good tho!

not so shiny 2002 memories: uhh, the guardrail incident with amanda. probably some stuff (or PEOPLE) from frosh week.

and the was that a high point or a low point? award goes to the BHS variety show in february! heh. oh, and i suppose you kould inklude 'going to university' in there as well. bekause i do miss my Pussy Posse (uhh....and jake.) oh and maybe frosh week as well. bekause it was so much fun at the time. but 4 months later i'm trying to eskape it still ;/

the year in two words? bob's shell and...whiskey ;)

[bono vox: - ]

[THURSDEC1902|01:00 p.m.]
woah. i somehow landed on rodski's album of the year list. (dude. what DID i put on that mixtape again?) lol. hmmm...no supegrass rodski? le schock. ooh. i should start thinking of my year end lists.....anyway. i'm right touched, rodski, cheers

[bono vox: - ]

[WEDDEC1802|07:18 p.m.]

[ Commission for the Location of Victims' Remains ]
ok so the big story about my human rights exam is that the prokters are nuts. they're mostly senior citizens. i've heard horror stories, but so far they've been so nice i've just wanted them to push me one swings and bake me cookies (oh my god. i wrote 'cockies'. man i am so horny. the damn rag does that to you, eh?) anyway, i wrote h.r. in the gym, so the head prokter had to speak into a mikrophone (which he left on. and 20 minutes into the thing it started skreeching and the dude kouldn't figure out how to make it stop. i think that should be an automatik pass for everyone in the gym. yep yep.) to talk to everyone. he was also, however, trying to be cool. he was trying to enforce the watr bottle rule. it's such a kounterproduktive rule. we kan have water bottles, but ONLY if we keep them up at the front. we kan get up WHENEVER WE WANT and waltz up our rows to go have a nip from the trough....looking at every of our klassmate's papers as we go. (bekause having a water bottle at our desk is JUST that damaging to...to..something, obviously.)

but i digress. i guess it took 8 years for everyone in possession of a water bottle that the old dude was, in fakt, talking to them. he's about to kontinue with his usual spiel but he spots a guy wandering around with a bottle. so he embarrasses him but deskribing what he's wearing so that we all turn, look, and laff. the embarrassed dude hustles his bottle o' water up to the front and the old dude gets back to his spiel. he doesn't get very far before he interrupts himself again to say "i see a girl drinking from a water bottle...". urg. so this extremely sharp tack (with a look of death on her face, lemme tell you. you asked for it, sweetie.) eskorts her wayward bottle up the front, and the old dude kontinues. perhaps he's flustered at this point, due to all the unexpekted bottle aktivity. he is telling us not to talk to anyone, to turn off our cellphones, not move our mouths like we're talking (bekause they'll assume you're talking to someone else. ookkkk...) and not to "send messages teleGRAPHically across the way to any other student...."

i kannot supress a smile as i imagine myself trying to kovertly tap out the answers to a fellow student on my handy TELEGRAPH. (especially since...umm...the professor gave us the questions to this exam anyway. :) god i love those kind of exams....) and then i'm just laffing to myself bekause i pikture myself telegraphing like i'm in a kanadian heritage moment, and i'm trying to prevent the halifax disaster ("must...stop...train..." "mr. coleman!"). heh. of kourse, the old fart meant telepathikally, and korrekted himself. but. i had just written an essay 3 days earlier on the telegraph for my mass komm exam. i was all tee hee heeing over it like the big dork that i am.

so. i haven't studied yet. for anything. the plan was for journo half the day and then start poli sci. well, the plan ain't going so well.

sarah left today. le sniff. i have already sent her 2 email and am fighting the urge for a third. the two that i sent were before she even got home anyway. we are ko-dependant. we watched hackers last nite. i was disappointed. but jonny lee miller is a meow & a half. i mind the hair in that movie, but otherwise...

[bono vox: teklo - polly jean]

[TUESDEC1702|06:11 p.m.]

[ just need one last lay ]
mmmkay. so here it is. last nite ["...ssshhhee saaaaid! oh baby i-"...sorry...] at about midnite, i was tired. i watched a smidge of telly with sarah. i had been staring at lester's skreen fairly konsistantly for the last little while (studying and whatnot...). i was not ready to sleep. i wanted to read. i wasn't interested in any of my books. it was too late to knock on someones door and borrow one. but i happened to remember the little mini book that i found when i kleaned my desk.

it kame with my september issue of shift magazine. i kept it bekause i keep everything. it's kalled 'mission mini'. i kracked the little bugger open and started to read it. it seemed kinda kliche. i stopped reading and turned to the back kover to see who wrote it. some skottish woman who used to be a journalist, who spent her last three years at a british tabloid (niiiiiiice. bet that brightens up the resume. explains the style of writing). and it also had information about peter halley, who i guess did some art for this little tiny book (buuut...there is not any art that is really apparent. minor detail.) i realise at this point that the back cover flips out. i read it. i realise that this book is sponsored by a kar kompany that makes mini's. i realise that this book is part of a kontest. this explains such retarded lines such as "'they think i'm powerless without my wheels,' he groaned, knowing there was a kernel of truth there." and so on and so forth.

i read on and finished it. it was only 50 little pages. but oh my...once i klued into the fakt that mini engineered this whole thing (its aktually a kontest.) the book ended with the main guys mini being stolen and him racing in a vertible rage ["at last he'd found something worth being angry over."] to his komputer to email someone mysterious to kome to barcelona to "be his ears and eyes". ...this is where the kontest komes in. 16 teams from 16 different kountries went to barcelona nov 7-11 to ...finish the mystery i guess, be eyes and ears or something. they get a free mini. solve the art theft and get this guys mini back. heh. i have no respekt for this author. you should hear some of the things she has him saying about this kar. he's praktikally jizzing in his pants...and it's a dorky freakin' mini! and the art that was stolen? work by peter halley. i am so bemused by this entire thing. it's too ridikulous.

oh yeah. and ladytron are koming to montreal. i think i may be going. woop woop! and tomorrow, as a reward for studying, i will break and write an entry about the prokter during my human rights exam. and also my newly reinforced theory about journalism (this komes from studying folks)

p.s.: i drink more than i oughta drink. this should be my desktop.

[bono vox: last goodbye - jeff buckley]

[SUNDEC1502|12:56 p.m.]

[ 4000 men died in the water ]
i just returned from stealing food from our tv room. we have a monthly "floor brunch". i signed up this month, but since sarah wasn't there i didn't feel like standning in the tv lounge will being subjekted to krap on the telly and my sleepy floormates. it's all breakfasty and i don't like that stuff. plus, amanda was on icq bekause the three of them were over at jakes for a schleep ovah and i was having a pleasant chat with her. so i took some bakon and a muffin and skedaddled. i just wandered back about 10 minutes ago to make myself a sandwhich. i found that the pitcher of chokolate milk was still pretty much full. so i just emptied it into 4 glasses and put them into my fridge. then i stole 3 apples. i don't even like apples. maybe karol or sarah will want them. then i stole 4 brownies. i don't even want this stuff, but it's just nice to see food in my fridge for once. i mean, it will just sit in the tv lounge for the rest of the day going bad...that's what always happens. i just feel so klever about it tho. go me. rivi would be so proud.

last nite i did laundry and watched gross pointe blank. i love that movie. john kusack is hot, and smart and a good aktor and funny and has GREAT taste in musik. joe strummer did the musik for that movie. and he always puts his friend jeremy piven in his movies (from ellen. i LOVE him.) and his sister was in this one. i ate almost an entire big bag of tostitos rounds. fuck i love those things. oooh. i still have some. where are they?

i bought a tonne of klothes for myself for xmas yesterday. i got:
-long black skirt with belt thingy. i'm not too krazy about the belt thingy, but it kan be removed. it was $50, and i saw it a month ago and i wanted it.
-2 shirts. it was 3 for $25. they're nice. one is white with pink. one is pink with like...a branch or something on it. very good deal. konsidering one is regularly $15! (sarah got the third shirt)
-brown hooded zip up sweater from suzy shier. half price!
-cheap underwear from zellers. they're boykut and they have cherries on them! i think they're kute. i'm wearing a pair right now. try to kontrol yourselves!
-a $5 tanktop from zellers. for bed. it's funny. it's like, pink leopard print. ha.
-the blue purse with rainbow stripes i wanted from old navy. it looks good with my winter jacket.

that's it for my xmas shopping for me. i guess i'll just have to buy myself the cds i want after xmas. but look at all the deals i got! again, rivi would be so jeolous.

i kalled mom last nite to run past her what i bought myself. she said that our xmas tree was purchased, erekted and dekorated on friday. i was like, wtf? we don't usually do it until the 20th or so. shrug. oh well.

last nite, my uni friends exchanged presents. i dunno why. we just felt at loose ends, i guess. greg got me a winnie the pooh pad of paper, a butterfly pencil an eraser and this lollipop with this krazy doll. i got greg a kolouring book kalled 'lets play sports', a necklace that says 'kool' and blinks, and er....a pink seahorse. did i mention we had a $5 limit? ha.

did i write about rivi's gift? she gave us ours last tuesday or so. rivi is jewish, and she was very excited to do the xmas thing for the first time. anyway, so she was smart with the budget, as rivi is want to be. we tease her about how money obsessed and ekonomikally minded she is. she's always 'budgeting' and using koupons. it's so kute. anway, she got us ALOT for $5. for starters, i got this jelly lollipop of this guy....i kan't remember what he is, he's something to do with hanukah. he looks like someone from the lord of the rings. i'm not eating him, he's too kute. then, i got an xmas shot glass, a little xmas notepad, this tiny little hanukah pinball type game that doesn't work properly kos the ball always gets stuck, hanukah "guilt" (is that how its spelled? the chokolate money. in this big dreidle thing), a key chain, a little happy chanukah chocolate and a dreidle! and it was in a blue bag (rivi klarified that the $5 must inklude wrapping. so i just wrapped mine in newspaper and sarah didn't wrap hers at all...) that had ribbon and xmas ornaments on it. wtf? she swears she stayed within the budget. and i believ bekause rivi believes in the power of a good budget. i'm just not sure HOW she did it...

i got rivi play money (ha. hahahahaha.) a kolouring book kalled 'my kountry visit' and a traktor playset kalled 'kountry life.' why the kountry stuff? rivi is a stereotypikal torontonian. (lol) and she's always poo pooing the smaller areas that the rest of us are from (which i hate. bekause then i'm aktually FORCED to defend bridgewater. something i do not relish....). her words upon opening the playset? "i kan build my own city!" we were like, no...er town, rivi....

i think i'm going to listen to rufus now.

[bono vox: wild horses - rolling stones]

[SATDEC1402|11:07 a.m.]

[ song bird sweet and sour jane ]
sarah is in zeeee shower. for once i had to wake HER up. yowza. i've been up since 8. exam at 9. done at 10:30. it was ok. so was yesterdays. it kould go either way and it just depends on the marker. i was insanely vague, but at least semi-familiar with the material. oh, now she's out of the shower and will have to do her HAIR. we'll be awhile folks before i get to eat.

no. i won't regale you all with my harrowing kanker sore stories. sarah's gotten enough of it. needless to say i've gargled with almost an entire salt shaker stolen from the kaf. narf.

and now we are going shopping. i mean my next exam is monday and i know that either way i won't start studying until tonite. so....why not shop? i need more xmas presents. i'm spending money from my line of kredit, i'm that broke. i'm buying kloooothes.

today i have bags. this is the extent of my news. god i've turned boring in my middle age.

i will be home in a week. start drawing straws my friends over who gets to hug me first. the runner up will get to hae my sit in their lap and giggle...and miss kongeniality kan do my laundry. ha. as long as you don't like, sniff my underwear or somethingkreepy like that.

yesterday i was nearly exkommunikated from the table at dinner for saying the szechuan smelled like vagina. but it did and i was nearly gagging. i ate kake and ice kream for dinner last nite. i picked at a small bowl of soup and had a few bites of grody pizza. my eating has been better lately...but i was like, fuck if the szechuan is going to smell like genitals then i kan eat krap....


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ha ha ha. oh me.

[bono vox: rock dj - blobbie]

[WEDDEC11, 2002|02:37 p.m.]

[ because when you make presumptions you make an arse of yourself ]
weeeeeeee! hate mail!

"Hello there colleen.
I just did your little strokes quiz and i must say you are all messed up... Your facts are good about the boys but you have totally abandoned the true meaning of being a strokes fan! What you wtote for nick and fab was most uncalled for! Fabrizzio is one of the most rythmic drummers around at this point of time and it seems to me that you were being rather critical about his situation with breaking his hand "and altho yes you have a tendancy to break you hand(when you're the DRUMMER HELLO?)", thats a bit unethical dont u think!Goddammit!
Its not like he broke it intentionally! Your comment about his "voice is a bit child molestorish" is so not worth saying you know your wrong so where do u get off saying this stupidity!
I would also like to know why you get this hostility towrads nick from? Nick is probably a better person than you will ever be. " that you love almost as much as yourself" whats with that? I dont think you even know what you are talking about if you ask me you seem to be a bit jealous of his talent.... Maybe you have some issues and i am sure you can find a counseller that will help you with that. Incase you have not noticed Nick Valensi is a very attractive man. Saying he "kannot stand on his 2 chuck taylored feet because all your brainpower is being diverted to your head for those really deep thoughts you have" just makes you seem less intellegent because obviouslly you have not thought about what you are writing..... I suggest in future you keep your childish trap shut because when you make presumptions you make an arse of yourself!
Thankyou for your time!
Love always
jes and ames -"toodles""

indeed. thanks for my laff of the day, girls.

[bono vox: - ]

[MONDEC902|01:32 p.m.]

[ i demand a better future ]
this is pretty cool. i'm not posting my results bekause they are neither stisfaktory nor terribly akkurate. hmmphm. fun nonetheless.

ok guys......bowling for kolumbine should be kompulsory edukation. slides a wee bit toward the end, but whether you agree with the arguments or not, you must admit that they are persuasive. i love that michael moore doesn't need to attack people, they make themselves look bad enough without him doing much. there is footage from the kolumbine massakre that will leave you heartsick, fakts about genocide that will leave you feeling helpless, stupid rightwingers and rednecks that will make you hoot with laughter, and korporate assholes that will make you snort with derision. for good or bad, left or right, it's something that should be seen and konsidered. although, i must point out that the fakts about kanada aren't entirely akkurate. we don't all leave our doors unlocked. we're not that idyllic, sorry. but thanks.

weeee. ummm. i'm in love with edward gorey. i got the gashlycrumb tinies poster from my room. and i guess his stuff is everywhere. i hope it's in ns, bekause i told my mom i wannnnnt ittt.

god am i ever sick. fuck me, this is not the time. i'm going to start my studying in a few minutes. i kan't take medicine and fall asleep!

my top 3 study distraktions: hotornot.kom, explodingdog.kom, and internet checkers.

oh yeah. and i bought the nme...but ONLY to see what they had to say about jet. (is it jet of the jets rodski?). i was very upset to read that they deskribed them as 'dragging gaz koombes throught the mud' or something. first of all, why would you do something like that to gaz koombes, it's mean and his face is too pretty to ruin. and sekondly, don't mention gaz koombes in konnektion with in2khris. really now. however, i am buying next weeks nme bekause i want free buttons. weee.

the streets track off of the q komp is kracked. whats this punter on about?

oh yeah, the fire alarm. last monday at midnite, someone on 7th pulled the alarm. we were woken up (i was doing work) and expelled out into the snow for 20 mins. it was below zero, bekause this is ottawa. we went skurrying for renfrew house and stood in the entryway there by the heater in our pyjamas. then on tuesday, the fire alarm was pulled AGAIN at 1 am on 7th again. we headed right for renfrew. so...we've been told if it happens again, they'll kick us out for 4 hours, no matter the time nor the temperature, NOR our exam schedule. we expekted it to happen again wednesday but it didn't. oh well. richard (from renfrew) said just to kome up to his room if it happens again. i think i will.

oh and i'm out of money. so the xmas shopping has ceased. i guess i'm not buying myself anything else. and i'll have to get my sisters gift in ns. woopty.

[bono vox: pounding - doves]

[THURSDEC502|08:11 p.m.]
in 2o mins i'm going with greg and rivi to see bowling for kolumbine. weee! i am running out of money. but i get my allowence demain. this ahs been my 3rd day in a row shopping and i still need to go BACK to south keys, BACK downtown (some place on bank st. and then back to the cd stores...) AND i'm going to bayshore mall w/ sarah on sunday bekause i have zero ideas for my sister. she's the last one. i THINK i jsut got amanda squared away. i had to kall up cherakee and ask to make sure she doesn't have it already (amanda in the background: "la la la la la la la LA....") i am buying beaukoup of my OWN xmas gifts up here in ottawa, bekause, the shopping is superiour, to say the least. i feel like sharing with you all (snort: "all") -hipflask (hee. for whiskey. mum doesn't need to know that.)
-belle and sebastian lazy line painter jane boxset
-ladytron 604 (for $15. amanda thought that was a bad price kos it was used. but. i kan't find it in the stores now that they have a sekond album out. so poo on amanda.)
-the delgados the great eastern (in a used cd store for $11! wtf? i kan't believe that it was ever in a cd store to begin w/!)
-tinkerbell xmas ornament
-karleton hospital pants (which i slept in alst nite. shh, don't tell mum)
-striped turtleneck (bite me jake, it's from the gap. suck me. i look nice in it.)

ummm. i'm going to pick up a few more cds, i really need some pants and/or klothes. a book perhaps if mum kan't find it. and...the rest is up to mum. i asked for the best of blur dvd (now that i have a dvd player in lester)and i was supposed to buy it up here but......she told me not to. so i'm going to make the assumption that it's mine. and i wanted a nancy drew kalander, but she told me not to get one. so...?

anyway. i'll write later. about firealarm. and other stuff. but now i have to go see a mvoie.

[bono vox: sliver (live) - nirvana]

[THURSDEC502|12:46 a.m.]

colleen hennan spits on the jets. and so would you if you knew what was good for you. nme be damned.

[bono vox: - ]

[MONDEC202|01:29 p.m.]

[ kaptive audience ]
i archived. i think i went over my limit eh? posts started disappearing. and uh...where has my sidebar gone?

email from my sister, re: renewed desperation for a fake id...
"I don't have any extra id to give you. I don't have my old fake anymore. I only have one copy of my licence, and I'm not sure how much the picture would look like you (its from high school). But if I went to get another licence made when we were home for x-mas you're welcome to one copy .(if you pay for the replacement, obviously) worse comes to worse, you're only 5 months away from 19. concentrate on your school work until then (hahaha..sorry)
kathryn " saucy. needs her mouth smacked.

[bono vox: kut your ribbon - sparta!]